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Struggling to do the right thing
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 750095" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Oh JayPee, I know all too well how you feel.</p><p>My son is now 37 and still prefers to live a homeless, wondering lifestyle.</p><p>Over the years I have had phone calls and private FB messages from him telling me that he was going to starve and freeze to death. I've had him tell me, if you really loved me you would help me.</p><p>I get it!! I've lived it.</p><p>With my son, if his lips are moving, he's lying. I don't know about your son. He may be telling the truth or his version of the truth with some extra sprinkled on top. All of that really doesn't matter. What matters is he has made the choice to live in his car and not work. Him trying to blame you and your husband is nothing more than manipulation. My son blames me and my husband for how screwed up his life is. I used to take it but no more. The last time my son tried to blame me, I was very quick to tell him that I have had no influence in his life for many years and that he's an adult and gets to choose how he will live his life. </p><p>Please don't buy into him trying to blame you. Hey, none of us were perfect parents. News flash, there is no such thing as a perfect parent. We all did the best we could. Our children are adults now and they can choose each day how they will live their lives.</p><p>Now, for the can of beans. Sure, you could buy him a can or a case but when that's gone, you will be right back to where you are now. My suggestion is that you do a little research and find all the places he can go to get some food. I would also find out more about the food pantry and verify what they give out. Yes, they do give perishables but they also have other food items that are not. Get a list together of places he can go to get food and give that to him. </p><p>Bottom line, you can only do what you can live with. Yes, it hurts to tell them no but the more you say no the less they will ask.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 750095, member: 18516"] Oh JayPee, I know all too well how you feel. My son is now 37 and still prefers to live a homeless, wondering lifestyle. Over the years I have had phone calls and private FB messages from him telling me that he was going to starve and freeze to death. I've had him tell me, if you really loved me you would help me. I get it!! I've lived it. With my son, if his lips are moving, he's lying. I don't know about your son. He may be telling the truth or his version of the truth with some extra sprinkled on top. All of that really doesn't matter. What matters is he has made the choice to live in his car and not work. Him trying to blame you and your husband is nothing more than manipulation. My son blames me and my husband for how screwed up his life is. I used to take it but no more. The last time my son tried to blame me, I was very quick to tell him that I have had no influence in his life for many years and that he's an adult and gets to choose how he will live his life. Please don't buy into him trying to blame you. Hey, none of us were perfect parents. News flash, there is no such thing as a perfect parent. We all did the best we could. Our children are adults now and they can choose each day how they will live their lives. Now, for the can of beans. Sure, you could buy him a can or a case but when that's gone, you will be right back to where you are now. My suggestion is that you do a little research and find all the places he can go to get some food. I would also find out more about the food pantry and verify what they give out. Yes, they do give perishables but they also have other food items that are not. Get a list together of places he can go to get food and give that to him. Bottom line, you can only do what you can live with. Yes, it hurts to tell them no but the more you say no the less they will ask. [/QUOTE]
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