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[USER=25457]@Fairy dust[/USER] - thank you so much for replying. Immediately moved to tears which I’ve not done since this happened. I so badly want him to reach out so I can help fix and rescue. Partly because I want him happy, healthy and functional but I also know I’m seeking his validation and that he loves me and needs me. I know he’s not ready for that. I just don’t know if he’ll ever speak to me again and from being the main constant in his life for 19 years, that’s painful. We see our children as a direct reflection of us and I feel like i must’ve messed up badly for him to have turned out the way he has. He’s so cruel and lacks empathy and I find how he treats me, his girlfriend and friends quite repulsive it’s hard to understand this is a child of mine.
