Of course, we go into panic and control mode when they're going off the rails. Don't fault yourself for this. Who wouldn't want their adult child to conform to expectations and rules, to make a life of dignity and purpose that rewards them?
We are only human. That's all. Not more, not less. Nobody had a perfect parent. Nobody. Our children are now adults. They can go into psychotherapy, follow a spiritual path, and get educated. Do purposeful things to take responsibility to work out their problems if they feel they're problems. All of us have that option and responsibility. Once people are grown it is not their parents' responsibility. It is the individual's responsibility.
Lots, maybe most people don't have stable father figures here in the US. I didn't. My son didn't. Nobody had a perfect upbringing.
This is what is true:
