Your answer is right there, he has stonewalled you since he left. You did absolutely what you needed to do as he was disrespecting your home and your sanity. When they are gone we start missing them but, what are we missing out on really? The peace your home has now even with your heart all bound up. It does not matter the severity, the amount of money you have put out, no comparison with other parents, some worse - some not. It boils down to the same thing, if “we” do not stop enabling them your and my situation will become worse. I started off with small ways of taking care of my daughters issues but, they became bigger and more problematic as time went on, 10 years worth.
Have your son out of your life for good? That does not have to be a final answer, there is always hope they will change and come around. I choose no contact at this time after my daughter gets out of jail, it’s the very last thing I have yet tried. It’s killing me! Her being how she was, violent - ungrateful - verbally abusive - did not help us, on and on the list goes. I cannot have that in my life at this time. If she truly wants to change I would absolutely help her, only if she showed it with some time behind it…..say a couple months. She made me all these promises to get out of jail time and again, all broken days after she got out and started living with us. So never say never that it cannot happen, just know he has to try for himself first before you step in again. Also am sure there is so much about him that you don’t know about. Mine was my daughter meeting strangers on those dating apps and doing the very worst, despicable things with them.
I hope you remain strong and focus on how he was towards you and is stonewalling you now. He does not need you at the moment, this is all new….he will when he runs out of money or needs a place to stay. There is a difference.
