Welcome. A couple of things you said stood out to me, "being held ransom to his dysfunction ", and "feeling like a broken hearted teenager " calling everyone to chase him down. I can totally relate! I've kicked out my drug addicted daughter 5 years ago and it was extremely hard! It does get better with time though, and know that you are doing the right thing. Let go of your regrets, what if's, and guilt. Nobody expects that our kids would possibly turn out this way, but we can't change or control anything at this point. Just pray that he asks for help and follows through. It may not be you that he gets help from, in fact it can't be you, he needs professional support and direction. I wish you peace and comfort now.
