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Struggling with cooperation
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<blockquote data-quote="Elise" data-source="post: 134765" data-attributes="member: 31"><p>I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time with Abbey, I'm tired just reading about your struggles.</p><p></p><p>As you know there is no simple solution, but I have found some success with my version of a reward chart. I have difficult child's day divided into 3 time periods, before lunch, lunch until dinner and dinner until bedtime. difficult child can earn 50 cents for appropriate behavior in each time period. I consider the money his allowance, (he actually earns about $7 per week). You could adjust the amount depending on what is appropriate for your daughter.</p><p></p><p>During the morning time period difficult child must do 5 things to earn his 50 cents, wake up with an alarm, take medications, clean his breakfast dishes, brush teeth, and watch for his school bus. Any item not completed costs difficult child 10 cents.</p><p></p><p>You should choose the behaviors you want to work on with Abbey, like folding laundry. I have been using this system since my son was very young. He is almost 15 now and it still works. Over time responsibilities increase and so does payment.</p><p></p><p>I like this system because it allows me to detach from the nagging and whining. The chore is either done or it's not. I do not remind or nag. Each evening before bed, difficult child and I add up the amount earned and write it down on a calendar. I pay him once a week. It is a hassle at first, but much easier in the long run. I can really stay emotionally detached. </p><p></p><p>If your daughter is not motivated by money, perhaps you could use some other reward that would motivate her. </p><p></p><p>It's nice to see you back on the board. So sorry about you and husband.</p><p></p><p>Elise</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elise, post: 134765, member: 31"] I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time with Abbey, I'm tired just reading about your struggles. As you know there is no simple solution, but I have found some success with my version of a reward chart. I have difficult child's day divided into 3 time periods, before lunch, lunch until dinner and dinner until bedtime. difficult child can earn 50 cents for appropriate behavior in each time period. I consider the money his allowance, (he actually earns about $7 per week). You could adjust the amount depending on what is appropriate for your daughter. During the morning time period difficult child must do 5 things to earn his 50 cents, wake up with an alarm, take medications, clean his breakfast dishes, brush teeth, and watch for his school bus. Any item not completed costs difficult child 10 cents. You should choose the behaviors you want to work on with Abbey, like folding laundry. I have been using this system since my son was very young. He is almost 15 now and it still works. Over time responsibilities increase and so does payment. I like this system because it allows me to detach from the nagging and whining. The chore is either done or it's not. I do not remind or nag. Each evening before bed, difficult child and I add up the amount earned and write it down on a calendar. I pay him once a week. It is a hassle at first, but much easier in the long run. I can really stay emotionally detached. If your daughter is not motivated by money, perhaps you could use some other reward that would motivate her. It's nice to see you back on the board. So sorry about you and husband. Elise [/QUOTE]
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