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General Parenting
Struggling with cooperation
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 134787" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>I simply give my daughter a time limit when something should be accomplished. If it didn't happen by that time, she would lose whatever it was she was supposed to take care of and, yes, that included folding her clothes. There was no discussion, so there was little chance to whine. I would simply post a sign that X chore had to be done by Y time or Z would be taken away. And, yes, she really did lose an entire load of clothing and had to make do with what was left in her room. It was a drastic solution but nothing else had worked. by the way, once taken it was never returned -- it was either given to Goodwill or thrown in the trash. I found that if I kept it around the house, then I would end up giving it back. Giving something back to my daughter was seen as a victory to her. The idea that it was done with compassion and love just didn't seem to sink in.</p><p> </p><p>If you decide to try something like this, since yours is only 8, I wouldn't recommend a total removal but rather a removal for a week or two. I did try hard to make the removed item(s) make sense for the chore not done. Not getting ready in the morning for school on time meant loss of a computer game since that is usually why she was dallying. A dirty room meant anything on the floor was history. </p><p> </p><p>It did take her losing a few things that were truly important to her but it did ultimately work. The nice part is that it stop the whining because I refused to listen to it. I would simply hold up my copy of the sign and say nothing. Yes, whining escalated at first but when I didn't react to it, it quit.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 134787, member: 3626"] I simply give my daughter a time limit when something should be accomplished. If it didn't happen by that time, she would lose whatever it was she was supposed to take care of and, yes, that included folding her clothes. There was no discussion, so there was little chance to whine. I would simply post a sign that X chore had to be done by Y time or Z would be taken away. And, yes, she really did lose an entire load of clothing and had to make do with what was left in her room. It was a drastic solution but nothing else had worked. by the way, once taken it was never returned -- it was either given to Goodwill or thrown in the trash. I found that if I kept it around the house, then I would end up giving it back. Giving something back to my daughter was seen as a victory to her. The idea that it was done with compassion and love just didn't seem to sink in. If you decide to try something like this, since yours is only 8, I wouldn't recommend a total removal but rather a removal for a week or two. I did try hard to make the removed item(s) make sense for the chore not done. Not getting ready in the morning for school on time meant loss of a computer game since that is usually why she was dallying. A dirty room meant anything on the floor was history. It did take her losing a few things that were truly important to her but it did ultimately work. The nice part is that it stop the whining because I refused to listen to it. I would simply hold up my copy of the sign and say nothing. Yes, whining escalated at first but when I didn't react to it, it quit. [/QUOTE]
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Struggling with cooperation
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