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Struggling with my decision
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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 592006" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>It's hard when they're adopted difficult child's, because any attempt at reasonable boundary and expectation setting on our part looks like repeated rejection to them. The sad thing is *when* she is asked to leave this guy's house in the future, she will encounter that rejection again. And so it goes, until she faces her issues and tries to help herself. The only other option I see is that you let her stay there and live the lifestyle she wants. I know that's impossible.</p><p>Somehow, I always found brutal decisions pertaining to difficult child easier to handle if I revisited my anger over something he did that was beyond the beyond, Know what I mean?? It's not Christian, or my nature to hold onto grievances, but if I'd let them bubble up, boy could I grow a strong backbone and see through difficult decisions. It's juvenile, I know, but for example, if you recall the "stone cold stare of death" she gave you several weeks ago that stopped you in your tracks, it may help you today - I don't know? It was a coping mechanism for me, that's for sure.</p><p>What we want is for them to be self aware, self sufficient and functional. That will take a lot of time and help, but first the recognition that they need help and they need to change, in a good way. I hope this move, as difficult as it is, leads her on that path, Dash. <<<Hugs>>></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 592006, member: 13882"] It's hard when they're adopted difficult child's, because any attempt at reasonable boundary and expectation setting on our part looks like repeated rejection to them. The sad thing is *when* she is asked to leave this guy's house in the future, she will encounter that rejection again. And so it goes, until she faces her issues and tries to help herself. The only other option I see is that you let her stay there and live the lifestyle she wants. I know that's impossible. Somehow, I always found brutal decisions pertaining to difficult child easier to handle if I revisited my anger over something he did that was beyond the beyond, Know what I mean?? It's not Christian, or my nature to hold onto grievances, but if I'd let them bubble up, boy could I grow a strong backbone and see through difficult decisions. It's juvenile, I know, but for example, if you recall the "stone cold stare of death" she gave you several weeks ago that stopped you in your tracks, it may help you today - I don't know? It was a coping mechanism for me, that's for sure. What we want is for them to be self aware, self sufficient and functional. That will take a lot of time and help, but first the recognition that they need help and they need to change, in a good way. I hope this move, as difficult as it is, leads her on that path, Dash. <<<Hugs>>> [/QUOTE]
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