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Such a thing as "too" detached?
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<blockquote data-quote="DazedandConfused" data-source="post: 28108" data-attributes="member: 831"><p>I've wondering about that lately. Especially after one of Daughter's outbursts over the weekend. She doesn't deal well with disappointment. </p><p></p><p>Big meltdowns over the years when something didn't work out the way she expected. One comes to mind when a friend's Mom canceled a Bar-B-que that she was looking forward to. That was a bad one.</p><p></p><p>So, her latest was over (it gets kinda dicey), but she was suppose to go to a fast food restaurant with a neighborhood girl. This girl's family is a bit odd. They are the same ones I had the seatbelt issue over. Anyway, she comes home and gets some money. The girl comes with her. Then, she goes back, and helps the girls brother with some computer related thing, and the girl and her Mother leave Daughter behind. No, they didn't go in and say "Hey, we're leaving". They just left. Daughter comes storming home extremely upset. </p><p></p><p>I try to be calm and tell her that the girl and her family are strange and do strange things. Anyway, Daughter gets more upset and says, "I'm going to get a knife and kill myself!". I'm like, "fine, whatever". </p><p></p><p>Daughter says, "Oh yeah, I'm gonna do it!". I hear her rummaging in the kitchen and she comes to my room with a BUTTER knife. </p><p></p><p>I just kinda roll my eyes at her, so she declares she's running away. It's 10pm. My reaction: "okay, fine, run away, but don't expect the door to be unlocked when you decide to come back"</p><p></p><p>(My intention being I would allow her to stew a bit before letting her in)</p><p></p><p>However, a few minutes later husband comes home and she comes into the house with him. More arguing and finally it gets dropped. </p><p></p><p>I've told her that if she tries to pull any of this after she is 18, she will have to live elsewhere. I won't have it and I mean it. I have major PTSD after years of rollercoaster living with my DAD and all his drama that lasted well into my 30s. I want peace! I will fullfil my obligation to both of my difficult children, but I'm NOT going to be manipulated, used, and called an abuser, in my home ONE second longer than I have to. </p><p></p><p>I love my children. I advocate, protect, and provide a secure home for, them. But, I sometimes wonder if my detachment from them is more than what is necessary, or dare I say, normal?</p><p></p><p>Any thoughts?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DazedandConfused, post: 28108, member: 831"] I've wondering about that lately. Especially after one of Daughter's outbursts over the weekend. She doesn't deal well with disappointment. Big meltdowns over the years when something didn't work out the way she expected. One comes to mind when a friend's Mom canceled a Bar-B-que that she was looking forward to. That was a bad one. So, her latest was over (it gets kinda dicey), but she was suppose to go to a fast food restaurant with a neighborhood girl. This girl's family is a bit odd. They are the same ones I had the seatbelt issue over. Anyway, she comes home and gets some money. The girl comes with her. Then, she goes back, and helps the girls brother with some computer related thing, and the girl and her Mother leave Daughter behind. No, they didn't go in and say "Hey, we're leaving". They just left. Daughter comes storming home extremely upset. I try to be calm and tell her that the girl and her family are strange and do strange things. Anyway, Daughter gets more upset and says, "I'm going to get a knife and kill myself!". I'm like, "fine, whatever". Daughter says, "Oh yeah, I'm gonna do it!". I hear her rummaging in the kitchen and she comes to my room with a BUTTER knife. I just kinda roll my eyes at her, so she declares she's running away. It's 10pm. My reaction: "okay, fine, run away, but don't expect the door to be unlocked when you decide to come back" (My intention being I would allow her to stew a bit before letting her in) However, a few minutes later husband comes home and she comes into the house with him. More arguing and finally it gets dropped. I've told her that if she tries to pull any of this after she is 18, she will have to live elsewhere. I won't have it and I mean it. I have major PTSD after years of rollercoaster living with my DAD and all his drama that lasted well into my 30s. I want peace! I will fullfil my obligation to both of my difficult children, but I'm NOT going to be manipulated, used, and called an abuser, in my home ONE second longer than I have to. I love my children. I advocate, protect, and provide a secure home for, them. But, I sometimes wonder if my detachment from them is more than what is necessary, or dare I say, normal? Any thoughts? [/QUOTE]
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Such a thing as "too" detached?
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