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Suggestions for Eeyore???
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 453111" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>One thing we did was that Wiz could NOT buy anything on impulse. If he wanted something he had to write it down, check prices several places, and when he had enough money to buy it we would get it on the next shopping trip to the place with the best price. He was angry for a LONG time because we wouldn't buy it and let him pay us back (he didn't and would get very violent when we wouldn't give it to him before he paid us for it) and because we insisted he pay for it. </p><p></p><p>You have to ask him how important homecoming, games, etc... will be for him? Then you have to let him set his priorities for what he wants to spend it on. Decide NOW if you will pay for homecoming, games, dances, etc... and how much. If he needs to match that amt and doesn't have the money when the time comes, then he doesn't go. You cannot back down and let him go/pay for it for him for any reason. That was one of the problems we had teaching Wiz about money. Gma and Gpa would ALWAYS decide it was an important social lesson and pay for him to go so he didn't get that natural consequence. Even when we refused to let them pay and refused to let him go we still had them telling him how it was wrong and we were keeping him from learning to fit into the social world if we kept him from the event. Made it VERY hard until they got him all to themselves and figured out that there would NEVER be enough $$ to make him happy and keep him motivated to do chores, etc.... To their credit I did get a HUGE apology for interfering all those times, but it was way too late to help Wiz.</p><p></p><p>This isn't something you can really talk him through. I hope he can figure it out, but until HE is the one with the job and bills to pay and choices to make he likely will not understand.</p><p></p><p>Given the depression, it may be that you need to speak with the psychiatrist about an antidepressant. It wasn't until the third a/d was in place and working that Wiz was able to see past his depression to the lessons and to really grasp them. He is on an ssri, strattera for the adhd but it also works as an a/d, and trazodone for sleep because otherwise he doesn't really and it also works as an a/d. It took all 3 to get him to the point where he could grasp a lot of things. Before that all he could grasp was that he was miserable and we wouldn't give him X, Y and Z that would make him happy. X, Y and Z wouldn't make him happy, they would just be replaced my more things that he "needed" like more pokemon cards or D&D figures and he just stayed depressed.</p><p></p><p>It may very well be until the depression is handled chemically that he won't be able to grasp all of this. that being said, the saving for long, medium and short term things is a good strategy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 453111, member: 1233"] One thing we did was that Wiz could NOT buy anything on impulse. If he wanted something he had to write it down, check prices several places, and when he had enough money to buy it we would get it on the next shopping trip to the place with the best price. He was angry for a LONG time because we wouldn't buy it and let him pay us back (he didn't and would get very violent when we wouldn't give it to him before he paid us for it) and because we insisted he pay for it. You have to ask him how important homecoming, games, etc... will be for him? Then you have to let him set his priorities for what he wants to spend it on. Decide NOW if you will pay for homecoming, games, dances, etc... and how much. If he needs to match that amt and doesn't have the money when the time comes, then he doesn't go. You cannot back down and let him go/pay for it for him for any reason. That was one of the problems we had teaching Wiz about money. Gma and Gpa would ALWAYS decide it was an important social lesson and pay for him to go so he didn't get that natural consequence. Even when we refused to let them pay and refused to let him go we still had them telling him how it was wrong and we were keeping him from learning to fit into the social world if we kept him from the event. Made it VERY hard until they got him all to themselves and figured out that there would NEVER be enough $$ to make him happy and keep him motivated to do chores, etc.... To their credit I did get a HUGE apology for interfering all those times, but it was way too late to help Wiz. This isn't something you can really talk him through. I hope he can figure it out, but until HE is the one with the job and bills to pay and choices to make he likely will not understand. Given the depression, it may be that you need to speak with the psychiatrist about an antidepressant. It wasn't until the third a/d was in place and working that Wiz was able to see past his depression to the lessons and to really grasp them. He is on an ssri, strattera for the adhd but it also works as an a/d, and trazodone for sleep because otherwise he doesn't really and it also works as an a/d. It took all 3 to get him to the point where he could grasp a lot of things. Before that all he could grasp was that he was miserable and we wouldn't give him X, Y and Z that would make him happy. X, Y and Z wouldn't make him happy, they would just be replaced my more things that he "needed" like more pokemon cards or D&D figures and he just stayed depressed. It may very well be until the depression is handled chemically that he won't be able to grasp all of this. that being said, the saving for long, medium and short term things is a good strategy. [/QUOTE]
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