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Suggestions for outbursts in public?
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<blockquote data-quote="TeDo" data-source="post: 604204" data-attributes="member: 15799"><p>I agree with LDM when it comes to taking difficult child 1 anywhere. In your situation, that wasn't an option to not take him along. For us, if difficult child 1 was tired or hungry, we rescheduled our plans for another day whenever possible because those were the biggest catalysts. Also, back then GameBoys were popular, we'd bring along a bag of things for him to do that were ONLY for necessary outings. Those are some of the preemptive things we did.</p><p></p><p>As for issues out in public at that age, I picked him up and carried him out of the store, went straight to the car, and only then did I say a word to him. In the angriest voice I could muster, I would tell him that "I will not allow you to treat me that way/act that way in public. You will stay right where you're at until you can either sit/stand/walk by me quietly in there or until difficult child 2 is done. Then we will go home and you will go straight to your room until ...." It sometimes caused worse problems but mostly when I started the process until he figured out I was serious OR if he really didn't think he did anything wrong, in which case I would hear him out and then decide (his explanations were usually way out there so I'd have to EXPLAIN what behavior I expected and thank him for telling me NICELY). It's hard to put everything in writing since there are so many different scenarios for so many different situations. </p><p></p><p>The key was to prepare in advance, verbalize my expectations, and follow through with the consequences immediately. Yes, we have left full grocery carts sitting in the aisle. That was minor embarrassment but was outweighed by the "I like the way you handled that" I heard occasionally from other customers/store owners. When I got smart (after reading the Explosive Child), I would have him look at me and quietly, calmly ask him "why did you .... I have no idea why you just .... and I really need you to tell me why so I can understand." He didn't always have the right words but I usually got his meaning and then I'd explain what he should have done/said instead so he doesn't get into trouble.</p><p></p><p>Good luck. Sorry I rambled and if it doesn't make any sense to you. Like I said, there are so many different scenarios for so many different situations as far as what worked for me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TeDo, post: 604204, member: 15799"] I agree with LDM when it comes to taking difficult child 1 anywhere. In your situation, that wasn't an option to not take him along. For us, if difficult child 1 was tired or hungry, we rescheduled our plans for another day whenever possible because those were the biggest catalysts. Also, back then GameBoys were popular, we'd bring along a bag of things for him to do that were ONLY for necessary outings. Those are some of the preemptive things we did. As for issues out in public at that age, I picked him up and carried him out of the store, went straight to the car, and only then did I say a word to him. In the angriest voice I could muster, I would tell him that "I will not allow you to treat me that way/act that way in public. You will stay right where you're at until you can either sit/stand/walk by me quietly in there or until difficult child 2 is done. Then we will go home and you will go straight to your room until ...." It sometimes caused worse problems but mostly when I started the process until he figured out I was serious OR if he really didn't think he did anything wrong, in which case I would hear him out and then decide (his explanations were usually way out there so I'd have to EXPLAIN what behavior I expected and thank him for telling me NICELY). It's hard to put everything in writing since there are so many different scenarios for so many different situations. The key was to prepare in advance, verbalize my expectations, and follow through with the consequences immediately. Yes, we have left full grocery carts sitting in the aisle. That was minor embarrassment but was outweighed by the "I like the way you handled that" I heard occasionally from other customers/store owners. When I got smart (after reading the Explosive Child), I would have him look at me and quietly, calmly ask him "why did you .... I have no idea why you just .... and I really need you to tell me why so I can understand." He didn't always have the right words but I usually got his meaning and then I'd explain what he should have done/said instead so he doesn't get into trouble. Good luck. Sorry I rambled and if it doesn't make any sense to you. Like I said, there are so many different scenarios for so many different situations as far as what worked for me. [/QUOTE]
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