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suggestions for seriously angry 17 yr.old?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 59164" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My daughter was far worse than your difficult child. She was a drug addict at his age. She fooled us too, we thought it was 100% mental illness, but it wasn't. We knew she smoked some pot, but didn't think it went beyond that. And she had been on probation twice by age seventeen. We couldn't control her--it never worked that we could--at 18 she had a choice--get help or get out with no help from us. We would continue to support and help her if she went to rehab. She left, and went to live with her older brother, who is very straight and she got her life together because SHE wanted to. I find that there comes an age when it's up to the child. Legally, yours will be 18 soon. I don't know that you can make him go anywhere unless he is a threat to himself or others, and I'm not sure he is old enough that you can make him leave the house, which it doesn't sound like you want to do anyways. It may turn out that you have to wait it out then play "Tough Love" like we did. I cried for three weeks, but it's been five years now, our daughter is doing great, and I'm glad we didn't enable her. I don't think she would have decided to change if we'd still been around to fix her messes. I don't know that a Wilderness Camp will change anything, although it gives you respite. I'm also not convinced that our kids turn out this way because of one event or issue. Some kids are just more vulnerable to problems, it's nobody's fault, and they have to work hard for change. How does your husband feel? It's his child. Will he make him leave? I hope you work it out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 59164, member: 1550"] My daughter was far worse than your difficult child. She was a drug addict at his age. She fooled us too, we thought it was 100% mental illness, but it wasn't. We knew she smoked some pot, but didn't think it went beyond that. And she had been on probation twice by age seventeen. We couldn't control her--it never worked that we could--at 18 she had a choice--get help or get out with no help from us. We would continue to support and help her if she went to rehab. She left, and went to live with her older brother, who is very straight and she got her life together because SHE wanted to. I find that there comes an age when it's up to the child. Legally, yours will be 18 soon. I don't know that you can make him go anywhere unless he is a threat to himself or others, and I'm not sure he is old enough that you can make him leave the house, which it doesn't sound like you want to do anyways. It may turn out that you have to wait it out then play "Tough Love" like we did. I cried for three weeks, but it's been five years now, our daughter is doing great, and I'm glad we didn't enable her. I don't think she would have decided to change if we'd still been around to fix her messes. I don't know that a Wilderness Camp will change anything, although it gives you respite. I'm also not convinced that our kids turn out this way because of one event or issue. Some kids are just more vulnerable to problems, it's nobody's fault, and they have to work hard for change. How does your husband feel? It's his child. Will he make him leave? I hope you work it out. [/QUOTE]
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