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Substance Abuse
Supporting vs enabling....
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 633613" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>COM - it is a total balancing act and sometimes it is hard to know which side of the rope you are on!! I have been questioning myself a lot on this issue this week. Monday my son texted me that he had lost the subway pass I had gotten him... actually his claim was that it was stolen. There seems to be an issue at the house which immediately got me worried... was difficult child invovled in this type of behavior. Past history says maybe. In spite of my doubts I did agree to give him the money to pay back the person who got him another subway pass but was I enabling him? Then in a text I commented that I hoped he was squeaky clean, when I didnt hear from him I worried if I should have kept my mouth shut... would my doubts sense him off the rails? I reined myself in from that way of thinking, reminding myself I didnt cause this and one comment by me is not going to be the cause of him relapsing.... which as far as I know he hasnt done!!</p><p></p><p>But jeez I can get myself tied up in knots from my own head and questioning of myself!</p><p></p><p>Today he told me he had lost the copy of his birth certificate which he needed for a job interview.... so I hassled getting another copy from home!!</p><p></p><p>So I took all that to him today and he actually looked and seemed good with a good attitude about the job interview... and he did reassure me that he is obeying all the rules... did not seem at all phased about my comment and when I gave him the money fro the subway pass, he showed me the pass eh bought which was time stamped. So he seems willing to show me what he is doing..... rather than being sort of "Why dont you trust me/believe me belligerant which is how has been in the past which is a total red flag.</p><p></p><p>And he got the job.... delivering pizza (on foot in a very busy part of the city).!!!!</p><p></p><p>So I actually think he has been telling me the truth but my own fears and worries and lack of trust had me doubting him. And it made me glad that even though I wasnt sure it was the right thing, I am glad I helped him. So tomorrow I am helping him again, got get an original copy of his birth certificate.</p><p></p><p>So lets hope he keeps this job! He starts next week!!</p><p></p><p>TL</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 633613, member: 15801"] COM - it is a total balancing act and sometimes it is hard to know which side of the rope you are on!! I have been questioning myself a lot on this issue this week. Monday my son texted me that he had lost the subway pass I had gotten him... actually his claim was that it was stolen. There seems to be an issue at the house which immediately got me worried... was difficult child invovled in this type of behavior. Past history says maybe. In spite of my doubts I did agree to give him the money to pay back the person who got him another subway pass but was I enabling him? Then in a text I commented that I hoped he was squeaky clean, when I didnt hear from him I worried if I should have kept my mouth shut... would my doubts sense him off the rails? I reined myself in from that way of thinking, reminding myself I didnt cause this and one comment by me is not going to be the cause of him relapsing.... which as far as I know he hasnt done!! But jeez I can get myself tied up in knots from my own head and questioning of myself! Today he told me he had lost the copy of his birth certificate which he needed for a job interview.... so I hassled getting another copy from home!! So I took all that to him today and he actually looked and seemed good with a good attitude about the job interview... and he did reassure me that he is obeying all the rules... did not seem at all phased about my comment and when I gave him the money fro the subway pass, he showed me the pass eh bought which was time stamped. So he seems willing to show me what he is doing..... rather than being sort of "Why dont you trust me/believe me belligerant which is how has been in the past which is a total red flag. And he got the job.... delivering pizza (on foot in a very busy part of the city).!!!! So I actually think he has been telling me the truth but my own fears and worries and lack of trust had me doubting him. And it made me glad that even though I wasnt sure it was the right thing, I am glad I helped him. So tomorrow I am helping him again, got get an original copy of his birth certificate. So lets hope he keeps this job! He starts next week!! TL Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app [/QUOTE]
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