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Family of Origin
Surviving parent, whom I love, sad that his kids are estranged
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 675991" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Thank you, Serenity.</p><p></p><p>I think my mother loved me. But I was not strong enough to love her--be with her and love her. She was intense and demanding. I became frightened and small around her. I felt consumed. </p><p></p><p>I could never have made my life what I did, or made myself as I am, around her. Because I could not treat myself with value, if I was near her. I felt too guilty.</p><p></p><p>My mother was a prima donna. I diva. </p><p></p><p>It was so surprising to her at the end of her life that I had become a strong and confident person. I think she was glad. But behind closed doors, I became small again, even after I changed. With her, at home, I became small.</p><p></p><p>It is all so sad for me, still. It is good to write the truth but it still hurts to do it.</p><p></p><p>I wish I could feel mad at what happened to me. I wonder if it would help. I wonder if I will ever permit it, now that my Mother is gone.</p><p></p><p>Thank you Serenity.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 675991, member: 18958"] Thank you, Serenity. I think my mother loved me. But I was not strong enough to love her--be with her and love her. She was intense and demanding. I became frightened and small around her. I felt consumed. I could never have made my life what I did, or made myself as I am, around her. Because I could not treat myself with value, if I was near her. I felt too guilty. My mother was a prima donna. I diva. It was so surprising to her at the end of her life that I had become a strong and confident person. I think she was glad. But behind closed doors, I became small again, even after I changed. With her, at home, I became small. It is all so sad for me, still. It is good to write the truth but it still hurts to do it. I wish I could feel mad at what happened to me. I wonder if it would help. I wonder if I will ever permit it, now that my Mother is gone. Thank you Serenity. COPA [/QUOTE]
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Surviving parent, whom I love, sad that his kids are estranged
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