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Family of Origin
Surviving parent, whom I love, sad that his kids are estranged
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 676056" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I came home for a few minutes before we go shopping. I forgot to put this piece of things in my last post and still have to complete reading your post, Cedar, which I will do later.</p><p></p><p>You know our favorite Monty Python piece with the french man? When he replies something like: we already got one, and it is better? And the general contempt he shows for the English King and his men? </p><p></p><p>That I think is what your mother is doing with the woman driver. In her own head, that is. She is saying: I may have taken your generosity and taken advantage of your kindness. But get this straight: I do not need you. You do not have any power here. There is not even reciprocity. I am big. You are small. Get that? </p><p></p><p>Your mother, in her brilliance, is divining the anthropological finding, that to accept something from somebody else, to accept their superiority. She wants no part of it. She is saying: I fart in your general direction, to establish again her dominance. That is why she has to trash the woman driver.</p><p></p><p>The sad part is that the lady driver is a nice person, to whom it never, ever occurred that she would accrue "power over" by providing a favor. Nor would she have sought advantage or gain by it. </p><p></p><p>But this illustrates how it is to be in relation to our family members who live from a completely different paradigm. The lady driver lives by one paradigm (as do we) and our family members from another. Each is speaking according to a completely different worldview. </p><p></p><p>I am thinking now of Donald Trump (he is ever useful). And the admiration of Putin for him, however much this was a ploy to minimize Obama (which is all part of the dynamic, too.) They may, these two men, understand each other, because the operate from the same paradigm or world view. </p><p></p><p>I will return later.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 676056, member: 18958"] I came home for a few minutes before we go shopping. I forgot to put this piece of things in my last post and still have to complete reading your post, Cedar, which I will do later. You know our favorite Monty Python piece with the french man? When he replies something like: we already got one, and it is better? And the general contempt he shows for the English King and his men? That I think is what your mother is doing with the woman driver. In her own head, that is. She is saying: I may have taken your generosity and taken advantage of your kindness. But get this straight: I do not need you. You do not have any power here. There is not even reciprocity. I am big. You are small. Get that? Your mother, in her brilliance, is divining the anthropological finding, that to accept something from somebody else, to accept their superiority. She wants no part of it. She is saying: I fart in your general direction, to establish again her dominance. That is why she has to trash the woman driver. The sad part is that the lady driver is a nice person, to whom it never, ever occurred that she would accrue "power over" by providing a favor. Nor would she have sought advantage or gain by it. But this illustrates how it is to be in relation to our family members who live from a completely different paradigm. The lady driver lives by one paradigm (as do we) and our family members from another. Each is speaking according to a completely different worldview. I am thinking now of Donald Trump (he is ever useful). And the admiration of Putin for him, however much this was a ploy to minimize Obama (which is all part of the dynamic, too.) They may, these two men, understand each other, because the operate from the same paradigm or world view. I will return later. COPA [/QUOTE]
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Surviving parent, whom I love, sad that his kids are estranged
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