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Family of Origin
Surviving parent, whom I love, sad that his kids are estranged
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 676078" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>We may see no benefit but she must have or she would not have done it deliberately.</p><p></p><p>I am thinking about the co-worker who tried to get me laid off (and succeeded). She was the one who was most responsible for spreading the rumor that I was the big boss's lover.</p><p></p><p>I am back to with the priest here. Well, I was responsible for training this woman when she started. She idolized me (to my face.) Using words like "zen-like"</p><p>"brilliant" "gifted." Well maybe I am making one of those up. Or two. But not all 3.</p><p></p><p>Then she turned on a dime. She began to compete directly with me. She could not top me in quality of work, so she tried in quantity. Still no go. Then she tried to get me removed from an after hours position I had created, where I succeeded in lowering a certain problem rate by 75 percent. She succeeded at replacing me in that position because I was a per diem employee.</p><p></p><p>From expressed adoration she came to hate and try to destroy me and my reputation.</p><p></p><p>Why? It is easy to think about a diagnosis. Too easy. I want to know what her motive was and your mother's Cedar for trying to destroy the reputation of the priest.</p><p></p><p>What are they saying by their acts, your mother and this co-worker?</p><p></p><p>You were too low for me to ever want you or think that you are worth anything at all. Nothing you have is worth having (I will see to that.) Nobody needs you. I am bigger than you. I live on. You do not. There is not room in the world for both of us.</p><p></p><p>Think about this. It is a form of shunning. Some of this sounds like my sister.</p><p></p><p>These people require the total social death of a person in order to feel their own power. If they cannot possess them or control them, they kill them off socially.</p><p></p><p>If they cannot actually shun them because they have no real control over them, they do so by destroying their reputation. The priest could just leave your mother's orbit. But these people like my co-worker still need to feel they have destroyed the person, humiliated them, stomped them into the ground. It must be a form of shunning.</p><p></p><p>Look at how my sister shunned my mother, as my mother died. It must have been a way of dominating her own lack of control, impending loss, or fear. While at the same time punishing the other person for it all. It is a reversal. I am not small and broken they say, as to be unable to be in relation to you or to compete with you. You are the small and broken one and I will show you how small and broken you are. By shunning you and by disgracing you and abusing you. Watch me.</p><p></p><p>I think your mother, Cedar, knew she could never sustain the relationship with the priest. She knows that parts of herself would have come out, and she would lose control in the relationship. She did him in to make him not worth having. She did it to not feel loss. To not feel herself to be the damaged one. Which of course, she is.</p><p></p><p>Why would somebody have to destroy somebody (in their own mind) to move on?</p><p></p><p>I would think these people are really very very fragile inside. But capable of causing a great deal of hurt. Because they masquerade as powerful. I am thinking of a certain other sister here. You may fill in the blank as you choose.</p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 676078, member: 18958"] We may see no benefit but she must have or she would not have done it deliberately. I am thinking about the co-worker who tried to get me laid off (and succeeded). She was the one who was most responsible for spreading the rumor that I was the big boss's lover. I am back to with the priest here. Well, I was responsible for training this woman when she started. She idolized me (to my face.) Using words like "zen-like" "brilliant" "gifted." Well maybe I am making one of those up. Or two. But not all 3. Then she turned on a dime. She began to compete directly with me. She could not top me in quality of work, so she tried in quantity. Still no go. Then she tried to get me removed from an after hours position I had created, where I succeeded in lowering a certain problem rate by 75 percent. She succeeded at replacing me in that position because I was a per diem employee. From expressed adoration she came to hate and try to destroy me and my reputation. Why? It is easy to think about a diagnosis. Too easy. I want to know what her motive was and your mother's Cedar for trying to destroy the reputation of the priest. What are they saying by their acts, your mother and this co-worker? You were too low for me to ever want you or think that you are worth anything at all. Nothing you have is worth having (I will see to that.) Nobody needs you. I am bigger than you. I live on. You do not. There is not room in the world for both of us. Think about this. It is a form of shunning. Some of this sounds like my sister. These people require the total social death of a person in order to feel their own power. If they cannot possess them or control them, they kill them off socially. If they cannot actually shun them because they have no real control over them, they do so by destroying their reputation. The priest could just leave your mother's orbit. But these people like my co-worker still need to feel they have destroyed the person, humiliated them, stomped them into the ground. It must be a form of shunning. Look at how my sister shunned my mother, as my mother died. It must have been a way of dominating her own lack of control, impending loss, or fear. While at the same time punishing the other person for it all. It is a reversal. I am not small and broken they say, as to be unable to be in relation to you or to compete with you. You are the small and broken one and I will show you how small and broken you are. By shunning you and by disgracing you and abusing you. Watch me. I think your mother, Cedar, knew she could never sustain the relationship with the priest. She knows that parts of herself would have come out, and she would lose control in the relationship. She did him in to make him not worth having. She did it to not feel loss. To not feel herself to be the damaged one. Which of course, she is. Why would somebody have to destroy somebody (in their own mind) to move on? I would think these people are really very very fragile inside. But capable of causing a great deal of hurt. Because they masquerade as powerful. I am thinking of a certain other sister here. You may fill in the blank as you choose. COPA [/QUOTE]
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Surviving parent, whom I love, sad that his kids are estranged
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