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The Watercooler
surviving rebuilding after emotional affair
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 201936" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>marg</p><p></p><p>we shall see. i never say never in this life anymore. He was more than a bloke he was deceitful and lied and that's my issue. to be quite honest to me i wouldn't care what he did with her, my issue is with the lies. as i said he might be a good guy at the end of the day, i believe he is. yet his own issues may override our ability to have a happy and full life together. i do believe quite strongly that i will be able to see very soon how that all pans out.</p><p></p><p>for my own self preservation i'm being realistic with the level of healing of which he has to encounter and work on his own, and also the ability to identify his needs and share those with me, his partner as opposed to allowing them to be utilized by the next cute waitress that comes in the door. that's his own personal work. i can't control that one at all. </p><p></p><p>so we shall see. for now i have decided i think with a clear head on giving it another shot, yet brief to be frank. i'm not prepared mentally for another challenging year. he knows now he's on thin ice, he accepts and takes responsiblity for his actions and his own issues yet difficult child is too challenging to be able to give more than a can to a person with whom may have a very long road ahead of healing to do. i would imagine after an 18 year marriage 3 kids, house, etc. and her turning gay on him there are alot of "him" issues there especially regarding his ego.</p><p></p><p>but for now i'm willing to give it a go because i do love him, yet as well all know it takes more than love to life a life together. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>thanks for all your input and kind words and honest thoughts. this is always been such a safe place for me to go instead of screaming <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 201936, member: 4514"] marg we shall see. i never say never in this life anymore. He was more than a bloke he was deceitful and lied and that's my issue. to be quite honest to me i wouldn't care what he did with her, my issue is with the lies. as i said he might be a good guy at the end of the day, i believe he is. yet his own issues may override our ability to have a happy and full life together. i do believe quite strongly that i will be able to see very soon how that all pans out. for my own self preservation i'm being realistic with the level of healing of which he has to encounter and work on his own, and also the ability to identify his needs and share those with me, his partner as opposed to allowing them to be utilized by the next cute waitress that comes in the door. that's his own personal work. i can't control that one at all. so we shall see. for now i have decided i think with a clear head on giving it another shot, yet brief to be frank. i'm not prepared mentally for another challenging year. he knows now he's on thin ice, he accepts and takes responsiblity for his actions and his own issues yet difficult child is too challenging to be able to give more than a can to a person with whom may have a very long road ahead of healing to do. i would imagine after an 18 year marriage 3 kids, house, etc. and her turning gay on him there are alot of "him" issues there especially regarding his ego. but for now i'm willing to give it a go because i do love him, yet as well all know it takes more than love to life a life together. :) thanks for all your input and kind words and honest thoughts. this is always been such a safe place for me to go instead of screaming :) [/QUOTE]
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