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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 94359" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Just wanted to welcome you.....and say I understand. I have a 17 year old as well, and it is tough.</p><p></p><p>in my opinion, I would not medicate him at this point. He is way too old to start on the medication merry - go - around that a lot of us have been on since our difficult children were little. You just never know if a medication is going to make things worse, and in my humble opinion it is just too much of a gamble when your son is as old as he is - and has problems only in one area of his life. I suspect grief is a major component of all of this, and perhaps feeling like he does not "belong" at school with his peers since he no longer has a father? Medication cannot take that away, only counseling, mentoring, and guidance. </p><p></p><p>If his problems are only at school, I would let natural consequences fall into place. The school can enforce and motivate any way they see fit. Perhaps a school meeting is in place? Your new counselor should be able to help with that. But you should not be called everyday, and you can work with the school counselor to make your son more accountable for his actions, rather than making you accountable.</p><p></p><p>As far as the ODD diagnosis, usually a child with this diagnosis shows it in many facets of his life, not just one area. Furthermore, given the loss of his dad, I think any counselor is going to be hard pressed to make any diagnosis besides depression at this point. Usually you cannot make a true ODD or ADD diagnosis when there have been major life traumas presented.</p><p></p><p>Glad you found us! We are always here to listen! Sorry things are so tough right now, it will get better!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 94359, member: 3301"] Just wanted to welcome you.....and say I understand. I have a 17 year old as well, and it is tough. in my opinion, I would not medicate him at this point. He is way too old to start on the medication merry - go - around that a lot of us have been on since our difficult children were little. You just never know if a medication is going to make things worse, and in my humble opinion it is just too much of a gamble when your son is as old as he is - and has problems only in one area of his life. I suspect grief is a major component of all of this, and perhaps feeling like he does not "belong" at school with his peers since he no longer has a father? Medication cannot take that away, only counseling, mentoring, and guidance. If his problems are only at school, I would let natural consequences fall into place. The school can enforce and motivate any way they see fit. Perhaps a school meeting is in place? Your new counselor should be able to help with that. But you should not be called everyday, and you can work with the school counselor to make your son more accountable for his actions, rather than making you accountable. As far as the ODD diagnosis, usually a child with this diagnosis shows it in many facets of his life, not just one area. Furthermore, given the loss of his dad, I think any counselor is going to be hard pressed to make any diagnosis besides depression at this point. Usually you cannot make a true ODD or ADD diagnosis when there have been major life traumas presented. Glad you found us! We are always here to listen! Sorry things are so tough right now, it will get better! [/QUOTE]
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