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Sweet Betsy-What to say or not say or do?
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 431060" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>My difficult child had a baby and while she wasn't drinking or drugging (to the best of my knowledge) she certainly was in no position to have a baby. When she told me I didn't say much because I was about ready to lose it. She had already decided to keep the baby, so I calmly explained what a big responsbility it was going to be, etc. Then I went out and bought her a What to Expect When You're Expecting book. I figured it was the best thing I could do since she had decided to have the baby. I also told her this was HER baby and I was not going to raise another child. I must admit I have gone back a bit on that since the baby is here.Right now I would love to have custody of KK because Kat is not providing properly for her. I think it changes once the baby is here and an actual person that you love. </p><p> </p><p>I would say don't give her advice about whether or not to have or keep the baby. That has to be her decision that she has to live with for the rest of her life. Try to be supportive, which is hard because they are being such immature idiots. For me, the pregnancy was actually worse than when the baby was finally here. I think the imagination of how bad it's going to be is worse than the reality. And with Kat her baby daddy was also her abuser, so it's been a nightmare serveral times. But I think that KK is such a joy that it is worth dealing with the problems. I know how you feel- it's a terrible situation. But I love my granddaughter so much! If she decides to have the baby focus on how much fun it will be to be around a baby again- because it is, even when the situation is not the best. Hang in there!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 431060, member: 11235"] My difficult child had a baby and while she wasn't drinking or drugging (to the best of my knowledge) she certainly was in no position to have a baby. When she told me I didn't say much because I was about ready to lose it. She had already decided to keep the baby, so I calmly explained what a big responsbility it was going to be, etc. Then I went out and bought her a What to Expect When You're Expecting book. I figured it was the best thing I could do since she had decided to have the baby. I also told her this was HER baby and I was not going to raise another child. I must admit I have gone back a bit on that since the baby is here.Right now I would love to have custody of KK because Kat is not providing properly for her. I think it changes once the baby is here and an actual person that you love. I would say don't give her advice about whether or not to have or keep the baby. That has to be her decision that she has to live with for the rest of her life. Try to be supportive, which is hard because they are being such immature idiots. For me, the pregnancy was actually worse than when the baby was finally here. I think the imagination of how bad it's going to be is worse than the reality. And with Kat her baby daddy was also her abuser, so it's been a nightmare serveral times. But I think that KK is such a joy that it is worth dealing with the problems. I know how you feel- it's a terrible situation. But I love my granddaughter so much! If she decides to have the baby focus on how much fun it will be to be around a baby again- because it is, even when the situation is not the best. Hang in there! [/QUOTE]
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