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Sweet Betsy-What to say or not say or do?
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 431173"><p>My advice would sound harsh.</p><p>I have an adopted difficult child and have many friends who do as well. I have one friend who after adopting her difficult child, lost her health and her marriage. </p><p>I no longer have rosey thoughts on the topic.</p><p>If it doesn't look likely that she is going into treatment, doesn't want treatment, etc. then you know what the options are and I would consider ALL OF THEM.</p><p>There are some stories of difficult children having a baby and this helping them to a certain extent when reality hits. But there are MANY stories that don't go this well. And innocent children are hurt. Or grandmothers step in and try to help.</p><p>I have a friend who has done this REPEATEDLY. Now, her life (the grandmother) is starting to crumble....too much financial burden and stress.</p><p>If you go the adoption route, PLEASE don't lie to the agency. They should know the real truth regarding her past history and any possible mental health concerns.</p><p>I am so sorry to read about all this. Surely, it is confusing and conflicting.</p><p>I would brainstorm all her options with her</p><p>If she asks you for your personal choice, I would hesitate to tell her. But, in time you might know more clearly the answer to this and change your mind.</p><p>After this is finalized, I would provide her with birthcontrol...no matter the cost.</p><p>(((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 431173"] My advice would sound harsh. I have an adopted difficult child and have many friends who do as well. I have one friend who after adopting her difficult child, lost her health and her marriage. I no longer have rosey thoughts on the topic. If it doesn't look likely that she is going into treatment, doesn't want treatment, etc. then you know what the options are and I would consider ALL OF THEM. There are some stories of difficult children having a baby and this helping them to a certain extent when reality hits. But there are MANY stories that don't go this well. And innocent children are hurt. Or grandmothers step in and try to help. I have a friend who has done this REPEATEDLY. Now, her life (the grandmother) is starting to crumble....too much financial burden and stress. If you go the adoption route, PLEASE don't lie to the agency. They should know the real truth regarding her past history and any possible mental health concerns. I am so sorry to read about all this. Surely, it is confusing and conflicting. I would brainstorm all her options with her If she asks you for your personal choice, I would hesitate to tell her. But, in time you might know more clearly the answer to this and change your mind. After this is finalized, I would provide her with birthcontrol...no matter the cost. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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Sweet Betsy-What to say or not say or do?
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