Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Sweet Betsy-What to say or not say or do?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 431213" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Well, hey there friend. </p><p> </p><p>I'm guessing? By the lack of responses and the influx of 101 inquiries - with limited responses? This is a really "Oh boy don't ask me for advice" kind of topic. But since you asked? I guess we're supposed to come out and say what we feel or think and give you advice given the situation your Betsy is in. </p><p> </p><p>WOW. (Exhale long and hard) Friend I just don't know. I do know that Betsy has an awful lot of hard decisions to make, but I would guess that since she has told you? She's chosen to keep the child and not have an abortion. Usually when kids opt for abortion they aren't as likely to come home and tell their parents - they just go off and do that, and you'll never know. Either that or she's too far along and didn't have the money to have it done. Hate to sound brutal, but procrastination is one of our kids' strong suits. I'm not pro or anti abortion either. I'm just thinking out loud about choices Betsy made as a drug addict, an alcolholic and this baby has a 50/50 chance of having a long hard life with the potential to be born with mental or physical handicaps put on it <strong><u>purposely.</u></strong> It's hard enough to have two healthy parents and have that 50/50 chance. I pray that the baby is inthe 50% that is born without incident like I do for all babies, but you asked, and I'm a realist. I'm also an optimist. So no hate mail. It is what it is. </p><p> </p><p>My second thought is she's very scared. Very. She's an addict, an alcoholic and pregnant. Not a trifecta anyone wants to hear happening , but again - she called YOU. Interesting. I'd say this means in Besty world- "I messed up and I don't know how to fix this." Amazing to me is that they think this is a fixable solution. This is life altering, everyones life and a new life comes into play. </p><p> </p><p>Does she at all sound like she wants help or do you think she's just looking for a place to get her head together, dump the baby and then go back to Betsy world in 8 or so months? I'd want to know where her head is. Is she committed to becomming a Mother, or is that something ELSE she wants you to do for her? If so - Is that something YOU want to do? Or is adopting the child out a better plan for it? Not that I think anyone would want an alcolhol fetal baby or a drug of choice child - Nomad's right, she'd have to disclose what is going on to adoptive parents. </p><p> </p><p>You know your daughter best, even on drugs - what do you think she's planning here? SB and Mom raise the baby? SB gets off drugs, gives baby up for adoption and realizes she made a mistake and gets her life together from here on out? SB gets off drugs, gives the baby up and goes back on drugs? SB doesn't give up drugs, gives birth to the baby, keeps it and life is a mess for everyone? SB gives up drugs, gives the baby to Mom to raise and leaves? Lots of variables - and if she says "I don't know Mom." you had better tell her to get her mess together Quick, FAST and in a hurry - she doesn't get the luxury of just thinking self-centered about SB anymore. Thanks to her poor decisions - she now has to think about baby first and SB last. She better get used to that TODAY. Right now. </p><p> </p><p>I guess Nomads advice would sound harsh - mine IS harsh. I still love Betsy- that's why this Auntie says it's time for her to grow up. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs & Love</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 431213, member: 4964"] Well, hey there friend. I'm guessing? By the lack of responses and the influx of 101 inquiries - with limited responses? This is a really "Oh boy don't ask me for advice" kind of topic. But since you asked? I guess we're supposed to come out and say what we feel or think and give you advice given the situation your Betsy is in. WOW. (Exhale long and hard) Friend I just don't know. I do know that Betsy has an awful lot of hard decisions to make, but I would guess that since she has told you? She's chosen to keep the child and not have an abortion. Usually when kids opt for abortion they aren't as likely to come home and tell their parents - they just go off and do that, and you'll never know. Either that or she's too far along and didn't have the money to have it done. Hate to sound brutal, but procrastination is one of our kids' strong suits. I'm not pro or anti abortion either. I'm just thinking out loud about choices Betsy made as a drug addict, an alcolholic and this baby has a 50/50 chance of having a long hard life with the potential to be born with mental or physical handicaps put on it [B][U]purposely.[/U][/B] It's hard enough to have two healthy parents and have that 50/50 chance. I pray that the baby is inthe 50% that is born without incident like I do for all babies, but you asked, and I'm a realist. I'm also an optimist. So no hate mail. It is what it is. My second thought is she's very scared. Very. She's an addict, an alcoholic and pregnant. Not a trifecta anyone wants to hear happening , but again - she called YOU. Interesting. I'd say this means in Besty world- "I messed up and I don't know how to fix this." Amazing to me is that they think this is a fixable solution. This is life altering, everyones life and a new life comes into play. Does she at all sound like she wants help or do you think she's just looking for a place to get her head together, dump the baby and then go back to Betsy world in 8 or so months? I'd want to know where her head is. Is she committed to becomming a Mother, or is that something ELSE she wants you to do for her? If so - Is that something YOU want to do? Or is adopting the child out a better plan for it? Not that I think anyone would want an alcolhol fetal baby or a drug of choice child - Nomad's right, she'd have to disclose what is going on to adoptive parents. You know your daughter best, even on drugs - what do you think she's planning here? SB and Mom raise the baby? SB gets off drugs, gives baby up for adoption and realizes she made a mistake and gets her life together from here on out? SB gets off drugs, gives the baby up and goes back on drugs? SB doesn't give up drugs, gives birth to the baby, keeps it and life is a mess for everyone? SB gives up drugs, gives the baby to Mom to raise and leaves? Lots of variables - and if she says "I don't know Mom." you had better tell her to get her mess together Quick, FAST and in a hurry - she doesn't get the luxury of just thinking self-centered about SB anymore. Thanks to her poor decisions - she now has to think about baby first and SB last. She better get used to that TODAY. Right now. I guess Nomads advice would sound harsh - mine IS harsh. I still love Betsy- that's why this Auntie says it's time for her to grow up. Hugs & Love [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Sweet Betsy-What to say or not say or do?
Top