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Sweet Betsy-What to say or not say or do?
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 431783" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>I'm your CD relative and you know that I care for you but darn it...I don't want to reply to your post. It pains me to think that you are being drawn in to a lose-lose situation. been there done that.......and my life has been absorbed into raising another generation of children. It's not pretty.</p><p> </p><p>First of all I have to say that I am pro choice. The question in my mind is pretty simple. SB is not a dumb kid. She knows that drugs and alcohol effect baby development. She knows that she does not have to have a baby. She knows that if she has a baby that the baby is going to require decades of financially and emotionally expensive. Why would she want to talk to you about it? Based on my experience....she wants your support. She can talk to counselors and Planned Parenthood counselors who are experts. She wants your support.</p><p> </p><p>You can't advise her to abort. You can't let her convince you that with your support that she will come clean...she has been there and done that with her choices and she is not going to morph into a young adult who is ready to accept responsibility for her actions and the outcome. What is there to talk about?</p><p> </p><p>I've lived through four announcements. There was not an issue with substances. husband and I allowed GFGmom to add to our family....23 years ago. (Yes, we love easy child/difficult child like he is our own.) She could not or would not step up to the plate. More announcements followed. "A baby" can quickly become baby A, B and C etc. Once you embrace and love them you end up in an untenable situation. </p><p> </p><p>My reluctant advice is to say "SB you know as much as I do about your options. I love you and hope the choice you make turns out to be the best one for you." Period. No discussion. She is not developmentally delayed. This is the time that she has to face herself in the mirror........and you don't want yourself and your life reflected in the glass. I am truly sorry that you re at this crossroads. Sending caring thoughts and prayers your way. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 431783, member: 35"] I'm your CD relative and you know that I care for you but darn it...I don't want to reply to your post. It pains me to think that you are being drawn in to a lose-lose situation. been there done that.......and my life has been absorbed into raising another generation of children. It's not pretty. First of all I have to say that I am pro choice. The question in my mind is pretty simple. SB is not a dumb kid. She knows that drugs and alcohol effect baby development. She knows that she does not have to have a baby. She knows that if she has a baby that the baby is going to require decades of financially and emotionally expensive. Why would she want to talk to you about it? Based on my experience....she wants your support. She can talk to counselors and Planned Parenthood counselors who are experts. She wants your support. You can't advise her to abort. You can't let her convince you that with your support that she will come clean...she has been there and done that with her choices and she is not going to morph into a young adult who is ready to accept responsibility for her actions and the outcome. What is there to talk about? I've lived through four announcements. There was not an issue with substances. husband and I allowed GFGmom to add to our family....23 years ago. (Yes, we love easy child/difficult child like he is our own.) She could not or would not step up to the plate. More announcements followed. "A baby" can quickly become baby A, B and C etc. Once you embrace and love them you end up in an untenable situation. My reluctant advice is to say "SB you know as much as I do about your options. I love you and hope the choice you make turns out to be the best one for you." Period. No discussion. She is not developmentally delayed. This is the time that she has to face herself in the mirror........and you don't want yourself and your life reflected in the glass. I am truly sorry that you re at this crossroads. Sending caring thoughts and prayers your way. DDD [/QUOTE]
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Sweet Betsy-What to say or not say or do?
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