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Sweet Betsy-What to say or not say or do?
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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 431828" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>I guess I kind of straddle the "pro choice" fence and I could never presume to give someone advice about what to do. But I do know what I've seen in our own family. </p><p> </p><p>Seventeen years ago my then-brother-in-law and his wife, after trying to have a baby for nine years, adopted a newborn baby boy. Back then they gave almost no information about the biological parents or the mother's pregnancy. He was a beautiful, sweet natured baby but was born early, not quite five pounds. He didn't develop normally in his first years, very slow to walk, was over a year old before he could sit up by himself, didn't talk, almost no muscle tone, hearing problems, then they found out that he had a heart defect that would need surgery. They had a whole herd of doctors whose best guess was fetal alcohol syndrome and drug use by the bio-mom during pregnancy. The whole family dotes on this boy. We always said that God chose the perfect parents for him. They have done wonders for him and he's progressed far beyond what was expected. But his limitations are so severe. Their whole lives have had to revolve around this boy and he requires as much supervision as a toddler. For them, adopting a second child was out of the question because he takes up 100% of their time. He will never be like a normal child, much less a normal 17 year old. He will never go to high school or college, he will never be able to sit down and read a book, he will never play sports, learn to drive, go places with friends, have a girlfriend or get married and have his own children. He will require supervision and care for the rest of his life and his parents are not young any more. When they adopted him, they had no idea he would be anything but a perfectly healthy, normal boy. They rose to the challenge and have devoted their lives to caring for him. If they knew then what they know now, would they do it over again? Yes, probably. But would they <em>choose</em> this? Absolutely not! It's really something to think about. To me, it's absolutely heartbreaking because it was all so preventable!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 431828, member: 1883"] I guess I kind of straddle the "pro choice" fence and I could never presume to give someone advice about what to do. But I do know what I've seen in our own family. Seventeen years ago my then-brother-in-law and his wife, after trying to have a baby for nine years, adopted a newborn baby boy. Back then they gave almost no information about the biological parents or the mother's pregnancy. He was a beautiful, sweet natured baby but was born early, not quite five pounds. He didn't develop normally in his first years, very slow to walk, was over a year old before he could sit up by himself, didn't talk, almost no muscle tone, hearing problems, then they found out that he had a heart defect that would need surgery. They had a whole herd of doctors whose best guess was fetal alcohol syndrome and drug use by the bio-mom during pregnancy. The whole family dotes on this boy. We always said that God chose the perfect parents for him. They have done wonders for him and he's progressed far beyond what was expected. But his limitations are so severe. Their whole lives have had to revolve around this boy and he requires as much supervision as a toddler. For them, adopting a second child was out of the question because he takes up 100% of their time. He will never be like a normal child, much less a normal 17 year old. He will never go to high school or college, he will never be able to sit down and read a book, he will never play sports, learn to drive, go places with friends, have a girlfriend or get married and have his own children. He will require supervision and care for the rest of his life and his parents are not young any more. When they adopted him, they had no idea he would be anything but a perfectly healthy, normal boy. They rose to the challenge and have devoted their lives to caring for him. If they knew then what they know now, would they do it over again? Yes, probably. But would they [I]choose[/I] this? Absolutely not! It's really something to think about. To me, it's absolutely heartbreaking because it was all so preventable! [/QUOTE]
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