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Sweet Betsy-What to say or not say or do?
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 431955" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Mrs. McNear, </p><p> </p><p>I've thought about this post, SB you and most of all? The baby. I don't know about anyone else here on the board, how they think, what their thoughts are - what their religious convictions are - how they go about their day to day lives or what they think of anything they say, or how they feel at the end of the day when their head hits the pillow and they talk to their Higher Power. Mine happens to be the All Mighty. So there I am...and I hear this little voice that say "So what if.....is that really the best advice you can give?" </p><p> </p><p>And you know......huh......exhale...I laid there and I thought and I thought and junk rolled through my head like- Did I say the right thing, Is there a chance that maybe this baby would, could maybe be just as bright and as loving and sweet without any problems as Lincoln is? (her other son being raised by the Father's Mother). I think about him quite a lot. I wonder if SHE does. Did she think about him at ALL when this happened. How could she? What were your thoughts when she walked in the door on drugs, addicted to booze and said "Oh Mom I'm pregnant!" I mean here I am not even thinking about how YOUR heart must have felt just a bash all on Sweet Betsy,because - well because if I'm her Auntie and it jerked a knot in my knickers I can't imagine what this is doing to you - again. </p><p> </p><p>So I guess my first thoughts sometimes are not necessarily the best ones or even the most well thought out ones because while I'm sitting there last night thinking about all this again...I just kept thinking "What if?" Now hear me out because I'm not pro-abortion, I'm not anti-abortion, I'm not pro-welfare, I'm not anti-welfare. I think there's reasons for each system and that's all I care to say about that. So obviously she's on drugs, she's drinking - and she says WHAT? She'll quit. So then this little life is born into your world and maybe it becomes someone just grand that otherwise? You never ever have known about. Maybe he or she grows up to cure something or invents something. On the other side of that coin - maybe he/she is born with such disabilities or deformities that it suffers it's entire life and is miserable, or maybe it grows up to be someone like Manson and takes someone elses dreams away. </p><p> </p><p>Fact is? Everyone that has been brave enough to post here to you? Has a point. Everyones comment holds validity in some shape or form whether its pro or anti, whether it's think about the consequences to the baby, or think about the consequences to the Mother life-long. What is amazing to me is how one persons irresponsibility and choice has affected so many people. How one persons tiny little person has and continues to effect the thoughts and minds of so many other peoples thoughts. I can't be the only person that walked away from this post and thought OMW - did I seriously just tell a young woman to consider NOT having that baby because .......because of what kind of a life I know I had with my son and how bloody ridiculously hard it was even with all the support in the world and he was NOT addicted to drugs and alcolhol? I mean it really hit me like a ton of bricks WHY I said what I said....I know what life with a drug addict is like, I KNOW what life with someone addicted to alcohol is like. I KNOW what their personalities are about, their mood swings, their temper tantrums, and their unpredictabilities, and then add behavior problems on top of that - and how much turmoil it causes and heartache and how many times you hit the ground on your knees and pray for some kind of answers or strength or peace - and here she is purposely brinig a child INTO situation - and I just couldn't see how to advise her otherwise based on what I know, what I've lived, what I've survived, and how unfair I felt it was to that baby. Not for her - but for that baby. </p><p> </p><p>But - I'll say this in closing -----there is always a chance, stranger things have happened, hope is eternal, and while I'm a realist? Without faith? I have and am nothing. So whatever Betsy decides I hope she puts a lot of faith and conversation with her higher power in this because it's beyond her life at this point. And I'm not getting all pro-life preachy here because I'm pro-choice and pro-look at the situation for what it is. I've just had a small reminder recently that said - If it had been your choice, and you knew how Dude would have turned out - would you have taken someones advice? </p><p> </p><p>For your fears - and your hurt, and your aching heart Mother? I am so sorry - I just wish there were arms big enough to hug you and SB because now that the initial anger has worn off - we have some decisions to make...and they aren't easy and you don't need vinegar - you need friends. For my part in spitting? My apologies. Just a worn auntie - so tired of all the poor choices in this old world. Even my own. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs and Love - <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /></p><p>Starbie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 431955, member: 4964"] Mrs. McNear, I've thought about this post, SB you and most of all? The baby. I don't know about anyone else here on the board, how they think, what their thoughts are - what their religious convictions are - how they go about their day to day lives or what they think of anything they say, or how they feel at the end of the day when their head hits the pillow and they talk to their Higher Power. Mine happens to be the All Mighty. So there I am...and I hear this little voice that say "So what if.....is that really the best advice you can give?" And you know......huh......exhale...I laid there and I thought and I thought and junk rolled through my head like- Did I say the right thing, Is there a chance that maybe this baby would, could maybe be just as bright and as loving and sweet without any problems as Lincoln is? (her other son being raised by the Father's Mother). I think about him quite a lot. I wonder if SHE does. Did she think about him at ALL when this happened. How could she? What were your thoughts when she walked in the door on drugs, addicted to booze and said "Oh Mom I'm pregnant!" I mean here I am not even thinking about how YOUR heart must have felt just a bash all on Sweet Betsy,because - well because if I'm her Auntie and it jerked a knot in my knickers I can't imagine what this is doing to you - again. So I guess my first thoughts sometimes are not necessarily the best ones or even the most well thought out ones because while I'm sitting there last night thinking about all this again...I just kept thinking "What if?" Now hear me out because I'm not pro-abortion, I'm not anti-abortion, I'm not pro-welfare, I'm not anti-welfare. I think there's reasons for each system and that's all I care to say about that. So obviously she's on drugs, she's drinking - and she says WHAT? She'll quit. So then this little life is born into your world and maybe it becomes someone just grand that otherwise? You never ever have known about. Maybe he or she grows up to cure something or invents something. On the other side of that coin - maybe he/she is born with such disabilities or deformities that it suffers it's entire life and is miserable, or maybe it grows up to be someone like Manson and takes someone elses dreams away. Fact is? Everyone that has been brave enough to post here to you? Has a point. Everyones comment holds validity in some shape or form whether its pro or anti, whether it's think about the consequences to the baby, or think about the consequences to the Mother life-long. What is amazing to me is how one persons irresponsibility and choice has affected so many people. How one persons tiny little person has and continues to effect the thoughts and minds of so many other peoples thoughts. I can't be the only person that walked away from this post and thought OMW - did I seriously just tell a young woman to consider NOT having that baby because .......because of what kind of a life I know I had with my son and how bloody ridiculously hard it was even with all the support in the world and he was NOT addicted to drugs and alcolhol? I mean it really hit me like a ton of bricks WHY I said what I said....I know what life with a drug addict is like, I KNOW what life with someone addicted to alcohol is like. I KNOW what their personalities are about, their mood swings, their temper tantrums, and their unpredictabilities, and then add behavior problems on top of that - and how much turmoil it causes and heartache and how many times you hit the ground on your knees and pray for some kind of answers or strength or peace - and here she is purposely brinig a child INTO situation - and I just couldn't see how to advise her otherwise based on what I know, what I've lived, what I've survived, and how unfair I felt it was to that baby. Not for her - but for that baby. But - I'll say this in closing -----there is always a chance, stranger things have happened, hope is eternal, and while I'm a realist? Without faith? I have and am nothing. So whatever Betsy decides I hope she puts a lot of faith and conversation with her higher power in this because it's beyond her life at this point. And I'm not getting all pro-life preachy here because I'm pro-choice and pro-look at the situation for what it is. I've just had a small reminder recently that said - If it had been your choice, and you knew how Dude would have turned out - would you have taken someones advice? For your fears - and your hurt, and your aching heart Mother? I am so sorry - I just wish there were arms big enough to hug you and SB because now that the initial anger has worn off - we have some decisions to make...and they aren't easy and you don't need vinegar - you need friends. For my part in spitting? My apologies. Just a worn auntie - so tired of all the poor choices in this old world. Even my own. Hugs and Love - :hugs: Starbie [/QUOTE]
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