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Tail end of a long visit with grandparents; meltdown behavior
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<blockquote data-quote="ChiefDramatist" data-source="post: 660567" data-attributes="member: 16241"><p>I think the hardest part is to see the mild disdain from the grandparents. I hurts to see it. These girls were doted upon just a few years ago, and now, because they are really both hard kids (though one is much harder), the grandparents seem to resent them. They only get to physically like see them once every two years or so! We just don't have the flexibility or financial resources to hop a plane and head halfway or all the way across the country to see them nearly as often as we would like to. Husband's parents refuse to fly, mine can't due to health issues and age, and driving those distances isn't feasible for either set. The situation just sucks in every way possible. </p><p></p><p>As to the fixation part, how did you re-focus your child onto something else? She has daily meltdowns about it during the school year. She accuses me of not understanding, hating her, not seeing what is best for her, trying to convince me she is old enough/deserves it/is responsible/I owe it to her for her happiness. She had really dropped the subject for a good month, but then picked it up again when we got here... Stress induced, I'm sure. When I am feeling patient I roll my eyes to myself. When I am stress and tired, at worst I yell (which is just the worst thing I can do of course). Most days, I literally ignore the requests -- at the suggestion of my therapist. Perfect hair is her physical fixation right now, and getting a cell phone seems to be her need fixation. I just don't know how to help her through this! *i* don't even have an iPhone or Galaxy! I have a cheapie prepaid GoPhone as my cellular iPad is a much more effective way to keep in touch with my out-of-the-third-world husband.</p><p></p><p>{{hugs}} and thanks for any suggestions in advance. I'd especially appreciate any de-escalating techniques.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ChiefDramatist, post: 660567, member: 16241"] I think the hardest part is to see the mild disdain from the grandparents. I hurts to see it. These girls were doted upon just a few years ago, and now, because they are really both hard kids (though one is much harder), the grandparents seem to resent them. They only get to physically like see them once every two years or so! We just don't have the flexibility or financial resources to hop a plane and head halfway or all the way across the country to see them nearly as often as we would like to. Husband's parents refuse to fly, mine can't due to health issues and age, and driving those distances isn't feasible for either set. The situation just sucks in every way possible. As to the fixation part, how did you re-focus your child onto something else? She has daily meltdowns about it during the school year. She accuses me of not understanding, hating her, not seeing what is best for her, trying to convince me she is old enough/deserves it/is responsible/I owe it to her for her happiness. She had really dropped the subject for a good month, but then picked it up again when we got here... Stress induced, I'm sure. When I am feeling patient I roll my eyes to myself. When I am stress and tired, at worst I yell (which is just the worst thing I can do of course). Most days, I literally ignore the requests -- at the suggestion of my therapist. Perfect hair is her physical fixation right now, and getting a cell phone seems to be her need fixation. I just don't know how to help her through this! *i* don't even have an iPhone or Galaxy! I have a cheapie prepaid GoPhone as my cellular iPad is a much more effective way to keep in touch with my out-of-the-third-world husband. {{hugs}} and thanks for any suggestions in advance. I'd especially appreciate any de-escalating techniques. [/QUOTE]
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