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Takes two to fight.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 694952" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Your sister doesnt know what she is talking about. Obviously she has not had this situation in her life. i doubt she would talk so pious if this were the way her own middle-aged child were acting. Groveling only makes these types of adult kids meaner. Dont fo it.</p><p></p><p>This is my advice. Take it or leave it. Firstly, Id never go along woth my kids treating their dad like that. Ever. Its cruel.</p><p></p><p>I refuse to get into arguments with other people about my family. They are free to have any opinion they like, but I will refuse to listen to anyone tell me about it. This is none of sister's business.</p><p></p><p>Try this next time she brings if up. "I love you, but I have decided we can not talk about Daughter. That subject is off limits or regretfully I will have to leave or get off the phone. So how was your day?"</p><p></p><p>"I have every right to talk about it. You cant tell me what to say..."</p><p></p><p>"You're right, I can't. But I can choose which subject to listen to. I will talk to you later if you feel need to talk about Daughter to me. Anything else is fine."</p><p></p><p>If she keeps up or gets huffy, she is not respecting your boundaries. Let her be mad. Protect yourself. This is not a family affair open to blast at you about. Refuse to listen to anyone's opinion on this. It is between you and your daughter. Period. I do this. It is effective in my life.</p><p></p><p>Good luck and remember that your daughter is probsbly all sweetness to your sister to gain her on her side. Disregard sister's advice. With some people, one person is mean and uncompromising sll the time no matter what the other does. It takes two to have a kind mother/daughter friendship and your daughter is not holding up her end of the bargain. You cant do it alone so your sister is right, however she does not understand that you are not the one causing the trouble. Unless she doesnt love her husband and would allow this treatment.</p><p></p><p>Big hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 694952, member: 1550"] Your sister doesnt know what she is talking about. Obviously she has not had this situation in her life. i doubt she would talk so pious if this were the way her own middle-aged child were acting. Groveling only makes these types of adult kids meaner. Dont fo it. This is my advice. Take it or leave it. Firstly, Id never go along woth my kids treating their dad like that. Ever. Its cruel. I refuse to get into arguments with other people about my family. They are free to have any opinion they like, but I will refuse to listen to anyone tell me about it. This is none of sister's business. Try this next time she brings if up. "I love you, but I have decided we can not talk about Daughter. That subject is off limits or regretfully I will have to leave or get off the phone. So how was your day?" "I have every right to talk about it. You cant tell me what to say..." "You're right, I can't. But I can choose which subject to listen to. I will talk to you later if you feel need to talk about Daughter to me. Anything else is fine." If she keeps up or gets huffy, she is not respecting your boundaries. Let her be mad. Protect yourself. This is not a family affair open to blast at you about. Refuse to listen to anyone's opinion on this. It is between you and your daughter. Period. I do this. It is effective in my life. Good luck and remember that your daughter is probsbly all sweetness to your sister to gain her on her side. Disregard sister's advice. With some people, one person is mean and uncompromising sll the time no matter what the other does. It takes two to have a kind mother/daughter friendship and your daughter is not holding up her end of the bargain. You cant do it alone so your sister is right, however she does not understand that you are not the one causing the trouble. Unless she doesnt love her husband and would allow this treatment. Big hugs. [/QUOTE]
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