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Talk about guilt--will this family ever heal?
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 654484" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Thank you all for reading all of this and responding.</p><p></p><p>Pasajes, <em>love</em> the sweater analogy!</p><p>So sorry about your son. That breaks my heart. I'm glad that the last few phone calls have convinced you of detachment.</p><p></p><p>I went to the therapist yesterday. She didn't think that the lapses in my memory were that big of a deal. (aka the laptop last week, and D in the back of the car.) "You're under a lot of stress." Yeahhhh ... and? I had just come from a massage so she told me to keep up with the massages. And I got my hair cut and colored Wed. She agreed that the missing pills could be either my memory or difficult child, but to keep things locked, locked, locked. She assumes I'm resilient so I guess that's why she didn't emphasize the memory loss or pill loss any more. I thought we'd spend more time on that. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p>I suggested sending difficult child to Outward Bound for the summer.</p><p>She said no, because he has anxiety issues and it might intensify his anger. After she said it, it was obvious.</p><p>And, he should be <em>working.</em> I guess that was a last-ditch effort on my part to send him away ... somewhere safe.</p><p>husband agrees that Outward Bound is a bad idea. He wants to force the issue of work.</p><p></p><p>difficult child has started taking Strattera instead of Concerta. Second day. Fingers crossed. Pleeaaaaase, no bad reaction! He's allergic to <em>everything.</em></p><p>He is still good about taking his lithium.</p><p></p><p>He has done minimal chores to earn $ (which is going straight to D's mom for dr appointments) so I texted D's mom and asked her to lean on him and get more involved in collections. It should not fall on my shoulders.</p><p>Since he's into the give-to-get mindset, he has to do something for me every time I do something for him. Which is minimal, at this point.</p><p></p><p>I will be talking to husband about how to address the recent swearing and new phone. Unfortunately, husband is still a workaholic and my time with him is limited.</p><p>I bought the book about Living with Uncertainty that someone on the board here recommended. husband refuses to go through it with me because it's so into Eastern religions. He is very "Christian." Made me mad and disappointed. I'm reading it by myself.</p><p></p><p>We are taking it one day at a time, in regard to where difficult child will be living. It's entirely up to difficult child and his behavior.</p><p></p><p>And thank doG, I am finished with most financial things. Taxes. Medicaid paydown. Letters to dr offices to tell them Cousin P is on Medicaid. I just have two things left--my last court conservator report for Cousin P, and my last Soc Svcs report. Yaaayyyy! husband gave me some ideas, and didn't even get on my case about it. Usually, he's impatient and doesn't want to deal with-anything having to do with Cousin P. Maybe because it's getting close to the end. Cousin P has been a huge divisive factor in our marriage. I wish husband was more supportive. But last night he was better, so I'll take that as support.</p><p>I'm selling a lot of Cousin P's things on ebay. So sad. Wish I could keep her collection of teacups and other items but there is no room. And every penny goes to her old bills--the ones that companies won't write off. Only one biz left now and I'll just go to court if they force the issue, and tell that I'm POA and she's on Medicaid. End of story.</p><p></p><p>I'm planting 3 tomato plants and 3 ferns today, as much as my pulled hamstring will allow.</p><p>And I wrote a poem and an essay on Wednesday.</p><p>I'm going to buy some chocolate. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 654484, member: 3419"] Thank you all for reading all of this and responding. Pasajes, [I]love[/I] the sweater analogy! So sorry about your son. That breaks my heart. I'm glad that the last few phone calls have convinced you of detachment. I went to the therapist yesterday. She didn't think that the lapses in my memory were that big of a deal. (aka the laptop last week, and D in the back of the car.) "You're under a lot of stress." Yeahhhh ... and? I had just come from a massage so she told me to keep up with the massages. And I got my hair cut and colored Wed. She agreed that the missing pills could be either my memory or difficult child, but to keep things locked, locked, locked. She assumes I'm resilient so I guess that's why she didn't emphasize the memory loss or pill loss any more. I thought we'd spend more time on that. :( I suggested sending difficult child to Outward Bound for the summer. She said no, because he has anxiety issues and it might intensify his anger. After she said it, it was obvious. And, he should be [I]working.[/I] I guess that was a last-ditch effort on my part to send him away ... somewhere safe. husband agrees that Outward Bound is a bad idea. He wants to force the issue of work. difficult child has started taking Strattera instead of Concerta. Second day. Fingers crossed. Pleeaaaaase, no bad reaction! He's allergic to [I]everything.[/I] He is still good about taking his lithium. He has done minimal chores to earn $ (which is going straight to D's mom for dr appointments) so I texted D's mom and asked her to lean on him and get more involved in collections. It should not fall on my shoulders. Since he's into the give-to-get mindset, he has to do something for me every time I do something for him. Which is minimal, at this point. I will be talking to husband about how to address the recent swearing and new phone. Unfortunately, husband is still a workaholic and my time with him is limited. I bought the book about Living with Uncertainty that someone on the board here recommended. husband refuses to go through it with me because it's so into Eastern religions. He is very "Christian." Made me mad and disappointed. I'm reading it by myself. We are taking it one day at a time, in regard to where difficult child will be living. It's entirely up to difficult child and his behavior. And thank doG, I am finished with most financial things. Taxes. Medicaid paydown. Letters to dr offices to tell them Cousin P is on Medicaid. I just have two things left--my last court conservator report for Cousin P, and my last Soc Svcs report. Yaaayyyy! husband gave me some ideas, and didn't even get on my case about it. Usually, he's impatient and doesn't want to deal with-anything having to do with Cousin P. Maybe because it's getting close to the end. Cousin P has been a huge divisive factor in our marriage. I wish husband was more supportive. But last night he was better, so I'll take that as support. I'm selling a lot of Cousin P's things on ebay. So sad. Wish I could keep her collection of teacups and other items but there is no room. And every penny goes to her old bills--the ones that companies won't write off. Only one biz left now and I'll just go to court if they force the issue, and tell that I'm POA and she's on Medicaid. End of story. I'm planting 3 tomato plants and 3 ferns today, as much as my pulled hamstring will allow. And I wrote a poem and an essay on Wednesday. I'm going to buy some chocolate. ;) [/QUOTE]
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Talk about guilt--will this family ever heal?
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