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Talk me down!
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<blockquote data-quote="DazedandConfused" data-source="post: 432808" data-attributes="member: 831"><p>Duckie may have spilled, but if not for the BFF none of this would have happened. I see this all too often. There's one student who is an instigator and sits back to enjoy the view of the wreckage. </p><p> </p><p>This is the age when this starts. It got so bad with four girls, the same age as Duckie at the school where I work (parents upset, involved students upset, classmates FED UP! And teachers and staff, including me fed up) that they are now banned, yes BANNED from being together AT ALL. Not during recess, lunch, class, PE, computer lab. So, the other day, I walk into the cafeteria and what do I see? They are all sitting together! (Of course) When I point it out, they immediately scatter to the four corners of the building. </p><p> </p><p>An extreme example, to be sure, but it was effecting the entire grade level and student learning. I know I had to intervene twice and quell the drama. The teacher may have been speaking in a general sense and not directly to Duckie. Remember she's ten, and because she feels guilty about what happened, the words were especially sharp and felt directed at her. </p><p> </p><p>Daughter was involved in a lot of girl drama, but it really didn't start until middle school and it lasted well into high school. I shutter when I think back on it. I did my best to stay out of it, but there were a few times when I just had to step in. But, there are definitely pitfalls in doing that; sometimes, it can only serve to escalate it. Daughter had drama with one girl she knew from elementary school; I knew the Mom and we got along fine. In middle school they began to have problems and the Mom called me to complain about Daughter. I get Daughter's side of the story and call Mom back to let her know her child was equally culpable in the problem. We agreed that they should just stay away from each other. But, they had several classes together and the problems continued. Then, I get this phone call from the Dad screaming and cursing at me. I hang on up him. He keeps calling and I tell him if he wants to talk calmly, we'll talk. Otherwise, we won't. He keeps calling and calling screaming obscenities. Finally, I stopped answering the phone and he left a nasty voice mail threatening to "Do something and you're not going to like it" in a menacing voice. I notified the police and the school district, but because the threat wasn't specific enough, nothing was done. Anyway, I told Daughter to just please stop talking to this girl because I don't need the stress; Dad's a lunatic and I would prefer not to have to have contact with him again.</p><p> </p><p>I'm so glad those days are behind me. I would carefully before getting involved and perhaps try to provide gentle guidance for Duckie to nagivate this very treacherous childhood time. That is, if she'll listen; Daughter never would, unfortunately.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DazedandConfused, post: 432808, member: 831"] Duckie may have spilled, but if not for the BFF none of this would have happened. I see this all too often. There's one student who is an instigator and sits back to enjoy the view of the wreckage. This is the age when this starts. It got so bad with four girls, the same age as Duckie at the school where I work (parents upset, involved students upset, classmates FED UP! And teachers and staff, including me fed up) that they are now banned, yes BANNED from being together AT ALL. Not during recess, lunch, class, PE, computer lab. So, the other day, I walk into the cafeteria and what do I see? They are all sitting together! (Of course) When I point it out, they immediately scatter to the four corners of the building. An extreme example, to be sure, but it was effecting the entire grade level and student learning. I know I had to intervene twice and quell the drama. The teacher may have been speaking in a general sense and not directly to Duckie. Remember she's ten, and because she feels guilty about what happened, the words were especially sharp and felt directed at her. Daughter was involved in a lot of girl drama, but it really didn't start until middle school and it lasted well into high school. I shutter when I think back on it. I did my best to stay out of it, but there were a few times when I just had to step in. But, there are definitely pitfalls in doing that; sometimes, it can only serve to escalate it. Daughter had drama with one girl she knew from elementary school; I knew the Mom and we got along fine. In middle school they began to have problems and the Mom called me to complain about Daughter. I get Daughter's side of the story and call Mom back to let her know her child was equally culpable in the problem. We agreed that they should just stay away from each other. But, they had several classes together and the problems continued. Then, I get this phone call from the Dad screaming and cursing at me. I hang on up him. He keeps calling and I tell him if he wants to talk calmly, we'll talk. Otherwise, we won't. He keeps calling and calling screaming obscenities. Finally, I stopped answering the phone and he left a nasty voice mail threatening to "Do something and you're not going to like it" in a menacing voice. I notified the police and the school district, but because the threat wasn't specific enough, nothing was done. Anyway, I told Daughter to just please stop talking to this girl because I don't need the stress; Dad's a lunatic and I would prefer not to have to have contact with him again. I'm so glad those days are behind me. I would carefully before getting involved and perhaps try to provide gentle guidance for Duckie to nagivate this very treacherous childhood time. That is, if she'll listen; Daughter never would, unfortunately. [/QUOTE]
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