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Talk me down!
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<blockquote data-quote="Running_for_the_shelter" data-source="post: 433023" data-attributes="member: 2960"><p>It's called relational aggression -- the bff is a bully and knows how to use this tool. [I think "Odd Girl Out" is the best book on the topic.] Sometimes these things blow over; sometimes they don't, and a child ends up isolated and depressed. If it were my child, the most I would do is call the mom and explain a little of what happened and arrange a quick, private meeting for the girls. All I'd ask my daughter to say is something like, "Even though XXX asked me to tell me one of your secrets after telling me she knew them all, I shouldn't have done it. I am very sorry and won't fall for this trick again. I hope you won't stay mad at me, because I enjoyed being friends with you. If you don't want me to come to the party, I won't. Let me know what you want to do." Regardless of whether there was a meeting or not, I'd make sure my daughter knows not to fall for the "if you want to be my friend, then do xxx" because you aren't supposed to pay for friendships in any way ... and if you have to pay for them, they aren't really friendships, anyway.</p><p></p><p>Personally, I think Heathers is the best "mean girl" movie. It's a bit advanced for a girl Duckie's age. I did have easy child watch it (I told her when to stop watching at certain scenes!) when she had some girl trouble, but it's not something I would show most young girls. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, it's good the school term is almost over and you may not have to deal with this teacher again, but I'd probably say something at some point to her. Singling out a child is seldom a good tactic, so it would be interesting to hear her version of events.</p><p></p><p>Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Running_for_the_shelter, post: 433023, member: 2960"] It's called relational aggression -- the bff is a bully and knows how to use this tool. [I think "Odd Girl Out" is the best book on the topic.] Sometimes these things blow over; sometimes they don't, and a child ends up isolated and depressed. If it were my child, the most I would do is call the mom and explain a little of what happened and arrange a quick, private meeting for the girls. All I'd ask my daughter to say is something like, "Even though XXX asked me to tell me one of your secrets after telling me she knew them all, I shouldn't have done it. I am very sorry and won't fall for this trick again. I hope you won't stay mad at me, because I enjoyed being friends with you. If you don't want me to come to the party, I won't. Let me know what you want to do." Regardless of whether there was a meeting or not, I'd make sure my daughter knows not to fall for the "if you want to be my friend, then do xxx" because you aren't supposed to pay for friendships in any way ... and if you have to pay for them, they aren't really friendships, anyway. Personally, I think Heathers is the best "mean girl" movie. It's a bit advanced for a girl Duckie's age. I did have easy child watch it (I told her when to stop watching at certain scenes!) when she had some girl trouble, but it's not something I would show most young girls. Anyway, it's good the school term is almost over and you may not have to deal with this teacher again, but I'd probably say something at some point to her. Singling out a child is seldom a good tactic, so it would be interesting to hear her version of events. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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