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<blockquote data-quote="Sheila" data-source="post: 72015" data-attributes="member: 23"><p>My son didn't do well with transition either. It was a nightmare.</p><p></p><p>We found that giving time cues helped with this in many instances, e.g., bath time in 15 min, bath time in 10 min, bath time in 5 min. </p><p></p><p>Re: homework. Many of our kids are exhausted when they get out of school. They are overstimulated and tired from trying to keep up all day, bombarded with colors, people moving around, demands on attention, use much energy to stay on task, etc. Then the transition from school to home, then when home transitioning to homework. Many times, difficult child's medications are about played out by the time he gets home at 5:30 or 6:30 pm and has to do homework. Frankly, it's more than some of our kids can do.</p><p></p><p>I'm ashamed to admit that I spent hours sitting with difficult child and "making" him do 5 or 10 minutes worth of homework when he was in elementary school. He was capable of doing the work, and I felt it was my job to require it. I accomplished nothing but making a bad situation worse. After a couple of years of this, I stopped.</p><p></p><p>In about 3rd or 4th grade, I changed my approach. When difficult child can do his homework, I see to it that it gets done. I ask if there is homework, check his planner to see if there's homework notations made, encourage him. But if he's not able to do it within a reasonable time, it's not a battle that I fight.</p><p></p><p>I shouldn't write this -- board jinx. lol But, my son started 8th grade last Monday. He is 13 yrs old. He's had homework every night except for the first day. He's come home and promptly started his homework without prompting from me. And mercy me, he's even removed himself from the dining room table to the quite computer room to do his homework because we (husband and I) were distracting him. :faint: </p><p></p><p>In one respect, difficult child is learning what he needs and what he has to do to reach a specific goal. But you also have to factor in other things. With ADHD, one of those things is the 2/3rds rule. ADHD doesn't impact intelligence, but it can have great adverse impact on executive functions. So when I think back, difficult child was 7 yrs old in the 2nd grade, but emotionally he was in the 4 yr old range. How much sense does it make to require homework from a 4 yr old?</p><p></p><p>He's 13 now, so executive functions are in the 8-9 yr old range. He's now able to work on his own, e.g., beginning to work independently. That's probably about right on target.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sheila, post: 72015, member: 23"] My son didn't do well with transition either. It was a nightmare. We found that giving time cues helped with this in many instances, e.g., bath time in 15 min, bath time in 10 min, bath time in 5 min. Re: homework. Many of our kids are exhausted when they get out of school. They are overstimulated and tired from trying to keep up all day, bombarded with colors, people moving around, demands on attention, use much energy to stay on task, etc. Then the transition from school to home, then when home transitioning to homework. Many times, difficult child's medications are about played out by the time he gets home at 5:30 or 6:30 pm and has to do homework. Frankly, it's more than some of our kids can do. I'm ashamed to admit that I spent hours sitting with difficult child and "making" him do 5 or 10 minutes worth of homework when he was in elementary school. He was capable of doing the work, and I felt it was my job to require it. I accomplished nothing but making a bad situation worse. After a couple of years of this, I stopped. In about 3rd or 4th grade, I changed my approach. When difficult child can do his homework, I see to it that it gets done. I ask if there is homework, check his planner to see if there's homework notations made, encourage him. But if he's not able to do it within a reasonable time, it's not a battle that I fight. I shouldn't write this -- board jinx. lol But, my son started 8th grade last Monday. He is 13 yrs old. He's had homework every night except for the first day. He's come home and promptly started his homework without prompting from me. And mercy me, he's even removed himself from the dining room table to the quite computer room to do his homework because we (husband and I) were distracting him. [img]:faint:[/img] In one respect, difficult child is learning what he needs and what he has to do to reach a specific goal. But you also have to factor in other things. With ADHD, one of those things is the 2/3rds rule. ADHD doesn't impact intelligence, but it can have great adverse impact on executive functions. So when I think back, difficult child was 7 yrs old in the 2nd grade, but emotionally he was in the 4 yr old range. How much sense does it make to require homework from a 4 yr old? He's 13 now, so executive functions are in the 8-9 yr old range. He's now able to work on his own, e.g., beginning to work independently. That's probably about right on target. [/QUOTE]
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