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Teacher is Awful!
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 261004" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am glad you have a VP who is trying to work with you. I do think this teacher should be thanked for her honesty in telling you up front that she doesn't want your child in her class, but teachers don't get to pick and choose. So she needs to hoover it up and be an adult about it. How does she expect the CHILD to cope if SHE can't cope with the rules? </p><p></p><p>No matter what she should NEVER EVER take his gloves away. He NEEDS tehm. Period. It isn't a big deal unless they are filthy or they are being used to hit other kids. If they are filthy then she needs to send a note home ASKING that they be washed or replaced (I am sure you would have no problem with that - no reasonable one of us would!). If he is hitting others (or even the desk to make a banging noise) the he needs to be told that he must stop. Rather than taking the gloves, HE should be gently asked to leave the room. Sometimes our kiddos CAN'T stop flapping an item. It isn't a conscious refusal, it is an INABILITY. (BIg difference there!)</p><p></p><p>If she continues to interfere with his stimulant, she DESERVES to have whatever threats he utters. I have a few I could share with her if she continues! (I feel very strongly about this, having had Wiz tormented over and over for 2 years about this.)</p><p></p><p>This year is almost up. I think the ability to get up and go to the Special Education teacher is something he is going to NEED to get through this year. Make sure they don't tell him he can go in "a few minutes" if the deal is that he can go NOW or at will. Also make sure it is the ability to go, not a card he has to turn in and get back before he can go again. You will be SHOCKED at how a teacher can use these things as a tool against the child if she is not on board. Have the VP agree that difficult child can just tell her (rather than ask her) that he is going to the sp ed teacher. </p><p></p><p>If this teacher has the chance, she will stall him, or if an actual card is used she will not give it back because she will feel he is "out of control" and maybe even that he just needs "more discipline" rather than this sort of accomodation. I have seen it happen. So make sure that difficult child can just TELL her he is going and then go. There needs to be some way for him to handle the situation if the teacher tells him he cannot go to the other teacher. If this happens, he should ask to go to the bathroom, or whatever excuse will get him out of the classroom - even saying he has to throw up can work. Then he should go and tell the specific vice principal or ask to call you. Because telling him he can go when he needs to get away from her, then having her refuse to let him get away is really a recipe for a major explosion. So he needs some mechanism to tell the school, and you, that this is not working as promised.</p><p></p><p>Sorry if I sound skeptical and cynical. I have gone through this with Wiz and seen a number of other kids go through it with specific teachers. Sadly, some of the teachers who end up with our kids are HUGE control freaks who will find a way to sabotage even the least demanding of accomodations that our kids need.</p><p></p><p>I hope and pray that this all goes smoothly and this teacher does not pose any kind of problem. But figure out what you want the next steps to be if it doesn't go that way.</p><p></p><p>Glad they are learning you can be fierce when your child needs you to be!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 261004, member: 1233"] I am glad you have a VP who is trying to work with you. I do think this teacher should be thanked for her honesty in telling you up front that she doesn't want your child in her class, but teachers don't get to pick and choose. So she needs to hoover it up and be an adult about it. How does she expect the CHILD to cope if SHE can't cope with the rules? No matter what she should NEVER EVER take his gloves away. He NEEDS tehm. Period. It isn't a big deal unless they are filthy or they are being used to hit other kids. If they are filthy then she needs to send a note home ASKING that they be washed or replaced (I am sure you would have no problem with that - no reasonable one of us would!). If he is hitting others (or even the desk to make a banging noise) the he needs to be told that he must stop. Rather than taking the gloves, HE should be gently asked to leave the room. Sometimes our kiddos CAN'T stop flapping an item. It isn't a conscious refusal, it is an INABILITY. (BIg difference there!) If she continues to interfere with his stimulant, she DESERVES to have whatever threats he utters. I have a few I could share with her if she continues! (I feel very strongly about this, having had Wiz tormented over and over for 2 years about this.) This year is almost up. I think the ability to get up and go to the Special Education teacher is something he is going to NEED to get through this year. Make sure they don't tell him he can go in "a few minutes" if the deal is that he can go NOW or at will. Also make sure it is the ability to go, not a card he has to turn in and get back before he can go again. You will be SHOCKED at how a teacher can use these things as a tool against the child if she is not on board. Have the VP agree that difficult child can just tell her (rather than ask her) that he is going to the sp ed teacher. If this teacher has the chance, she will stall him, or if an actual card is used she will not give it back because she will feel he is "out of control" and maybe even that he just needs "more discipline" rather than this sort of accomodation. I have seen it happen. So make sure that difficult child can just TELL her he is going and then go. There needs to be some way for him to handle the situation if the teacher tells him he cannot go to the other teacher. If this happens, he should ask to go to the bathroom, or whatever excuse will get him out of the classroom - even saying he has to throw up can work. Then he should go and tell the specific vice principal or ask to call you. Because telling him he can go when he needs to get away from her, then having her refuse to let him get away is really a recipe for a major explosion. So he needs some mechanism to tell the school, and you, that this is not working as promised. Sorry if I sound skeptical and cynical. I have gone through this with Wiz and seen a number of other kids go through it with specific teachers. Sadly, some of the teachers who end up with our kids are HUGE control freaks who will find a way to sabotage even the least demanding of accomodations that our kids need. I hope and pray that this all goes smoothly and this teacher does not pose any kind of problem. But figure out what you want the next steps to be if it doesn't go that way. Glad they are learning you can be fierce when your child needs you to be! [/QUOTE]
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