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General Parenting
Teaching difficult children about the dangers of illicit drugs...
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 607485" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>Fun Fam, </p><p>A couple of other things I thought about this morning...</p><p></p><p>I think it's VERY important to help your difficult child solve his own problems. In retrospect, I was ALWAYS trying to help my difficult child's have a perfect, picturesque life at all times...and figure things out FOR them. I wish I had let them fall down, make mistakes and figure things out for themselves more. </p><p></p><p>I also wish I had not been so Johnny on the Spot to come to their rescue when they would act irresponsibly. For instance, If my son's forgot their homework I would rush it up to school for them. In essence, their problems became my problem. I wish I had let them pay the natural consequences. </p><p></p><p>One thing I see over and over again with our drug addicts is entitlement issues. Everyone is expected to make life better for them. I think this is in part "taught" behavior as so many of us tried to be "perfect parents". Well, speaking for myself anyway, I know I did...and it backfired. </p><p>Life is not "perfect" and satisfying all the time. Life is so much about problem solving and being responsible for what is ours. </p><p></p><p>I also think emphasizing that these are/were difficult child's choices and his consequences is very important. </p><p></p><p>And make difficult child feel useful...don't clean his room for him, pick up toys for him, etc. Our difficult child addicts tend to have low self esteem and feel they are incapable. </p><p></p><p>Not to put all the blame on myself as the parent but I do think I "fed" into the addiction demise to some degree. </p><p>The other aspect of this was of course genetics...which in my difficult child's cases left them very vulnerable to that tendency, lean, bend. </p><p></p><p>I wish you all the best with your little guy. You have at least 8 yrs to prepare it looks like to me. </p><p>Try not to worry too much...I think you're right that our difficult child's do tend to gravitate toward the thing we are most concerned about. Just do your best...and let difficult child do HIS best. </p><p></p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 607485, member: 3305"] Fun Fam, A couple of other things I thought about this morning... I think it's VERY important to help your difficult child solve his own problems. In retrospect, I was ALWAYS trying to help my difficult child's have a perfect, picturesque life at all times...and figure things out FOR them. I wish I had let them fall down, make mistakes and figure things out for themselves more. I also wish I had not been so Johnny on the Spot to come to their rescue when they would act irresponsibly. For instance, If my son's forgot their homework I would rush it up to school for them. In essence, their problems became my problem. I wish I had let them pay the natural consequences. One thing I see over and over again with our drug addicts is entitlement issues. Everyone is expected to make life better for them. I think this is in part "taught" behavior as so many of us tried to be "perfect parents". Well, speaking for myself anyway, I know I did...and it backfired. Life is not "perfect" and satisfying all the time. Life is so much about problem solving and being responsible for what is ours. I also think emphasizing that these are/were difficult child's choices and his consequences is very important. And make difficult child feel useful...don't clean his room for him, pick up toys for him, etc. Our difficult child addicts tend to have low self esteem and feel they are incapable. Not to put all the blame on myself as the parent but I do think I "fed" into the addiction demise to some degree. The other aspect of this was of course genetics...which in my difficult child's cases left them very vulnerable to that tendency, lean, bend. I wish you all the best with your little guy. You have at least 8 yrs to prepare it looks like to me. Try not to worry too much...I think you're right that our difficult child's do tend to gravitate toward the thing we are most concerned about. Just do your best...and let difficult child do HIS best. LMS [/QUOTE]
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