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Teen-proofing?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 391983" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Heck, in enough of a rage all you have to do is turn the door hard and those doorknob locks will open. My husband never has a clue if doors are locked or not - for some reason he manages to use enough force to open the locks with-o realizing they are there, but not enough that it has hurt the doors at all. Wiz could also do this, The rest of us cannot seem to. But an ice pick or thin screwdriver is easy enough to open them with. </p><p> </p><p>Years ago my gfgbro was sneaking in and out his window so my dad nailed them shut from the outside. Not only is it a fire hazard, my gfgbro managed to pull the nails out and then make the holes just loose enough to stand the nails in so it LOOKED like they were nailed shut but he could still get in and out easily. </p><p> </p><p>All you can do is your best. Taking the label of unfit mother is just nuts. Most likely they would take your other kids away and leave you with the 16yo because it is hard to find a place for a 16yo, much less one for a 16yo difficult child. You are going to have to be SURE that NONE of the other kids are alone with difficult child. Not even in the same room if there is ANY thought that she might hurt one of them. We had a really tough time when Wiz was younger because he abused Jess very badly. It was so bad that if only 1 adult was home we had to take the same sex child into the bathroom with us or we didn't use the bathroom. I took Jess, husband took Wiz. That way they were not even alone for the 60 seconds we pared using the bathroom down to. Wiz could leave her bruised and/or bloody in less than 30 seconds. We couldn't even have them in the next ROOM - we had to be right in the same room or there were serious problems. </p><p> </p><p>It is exhausting. in my opinion you will have a far better chance of getting services if she hurts one of the other kids and a teacher or pediatrician or someone reports this as abuse. At that point you may HAVE to move her out of the home, thoguh finding a placement still may not be possible.</p><p> </p><p>Just DON"T let them label you unfit. You are right, it IS wrong to let that happen, esp as you clearly are NOT an unfit mother. It would just put your OTHER kids into foster homes, not get difficult child out any sooner. </p><p> </p><p>MANY of us have had to strip our kid's room down to the basics - mattress on the floor, blanket, pillow, 7 outfits of OUR choosing (you do NOT have to provide clothing she likes. You must provide clothing. Period. In foster care they get $50 or LESS twice a year to buy clothes at a thrift store. This includes shoes. If they destroy them, they get to wear them destroyed unless they are indecent. THen they must do without or find $$ on their own to buy new clothing. in my opinion I would get rid of anything she really likes in the way of clothing. You get to pick what you wear and wear what you like when you live by the rules of the family. She does NOT have to have access to computers, tv, the kitchen, games of any kinds, etc.... ALL of that is at YOUR discretion and I would NOT allow it. I esp would NOT let her onine because so many of our difficult children try to meet people they find online and they can end up badly hurt or getting someone to come to the house who will hurt the entire family. Be aware that MANY game systems can access the internet.</p><p> </p><p>You may have to lock up parts of any game systems to keep her off of them. Passwords are not always enough. We had to take the keyboard and many mice away if we wanted difficult child to stay off the computers. I would work to figure out what car parts or wires you can easily disconnect and reconnect and do that every night so that she cannot take the car out. ESP if she has had any driving lessons, or shows any joyriding tendencies. </p><p> </p><p>I am sorry you have to go through all of this. Be SURE to keep your insulin supplies locked away. A safe is a good investment, esp if there is any hint that she may have friends who use drugs or that she has tried them. </p><p> </p><p>(((((hugs))))) Parenting our difficult children is NOT for the faint of heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 391983, member: 1233"] Heck, in enough of a rage all you have to do is turn the door hard and those doorknob locks will open. My husband never has a clue if doors are locked or not - for some reason he manages to use enough force to open the locks with-o realizing they are there, but not enough that it has hurt the doors at all. Wiz could also do this, The rest of us cannot seem to. But an ice pick or thin screwdriver is easy enough to open them with. Years ago my gfgbro was sneaking in and out his window so my dad nailed them shut from the outside. Not only is it a fire hazard, my gfgbro managed to pull the nails out and then make the holes just loose enough to stand the nails in so it LOOKED like they were nailed shut but he could still get in and out easily. All you can do is your best. Taking the label of unfit mother is just nuts. Most likely they would take your other kids away and leave you with the 16yo because it is hard to find a place for a 16yo, much less one for a 16yo difficult child. You are going to have to be SURE that NONE of the other kids are alone with difficult child. Not even in the same room if there is ANY thought that she might hurt one of them. We had a really tough time when Wiz was younger because he abused Jess very badly. It was so bad that if only 1 adult was home we had to take the same sex child into the bathroom with us or we didn't use the bathroom. I took Jess, husband took Wiz. That way they were not even alone for the 60 seconds we pared using the bathroom down to. Wiz could leave her bruised and/or bloody in less than 30 seconds. We couldn't even have them in the next ROOM - we had to be right in the same room or there were serious problems. It is exhausting. in my opinion you will have a far better chance of getting services if she hurts one of the other kids and a teacher or pediatrician or someone reports this as abuse. At that point you may HAVE to move her out of the home, thoguh finding a placement still may not be possible. Just DON"T let them label you unfit. You are right, it IS wrong to let that happen, esp as you clearly are NOT an unfit mother. It would just put your OTHER kids into foster homes, not get difficult child out any sooner. MANY of us have had to strip our kid's room down to the basics - mattress on the floor, blanket, pillow, 7 outfits of OUR choosing (you do NOT have to provide clothing she likes. You must provide clothing. Period. In foster care they get $50 or LESS twice a year to buy clothes at a thrift store. This includes shoes. If they destroy them, they get to wear them destroyed unless they are indecent. THen they must do without or find $$ on their own to buy new clothing. in my opinion I would get rid of anything she really likes in the way of clothing. You get to pick what you wear and wear what you like when you live by the rules of the family. She does NOT have to have access to computers, tv, the kitchen, games of any kinds, etc.... ALL of that is at YOUR discretion and I would NOT allow it. I esp would NOT let her onine because so many of our difficult children try to meet people they find online and they can end up badly hurt or getting someone to come to the house who will hurt the entire family. Be aware that MANY game systems can access the internet. You may have to lock up parts of any game systems to keep her off of them. Passwords are not always enough. We had to take the keyboard and many mice away if we wanted difficult child to stay off the computers. I would work to figure out what car parts or wires you can easily disconnect and reconnect and do that every night so that she cannot take the car out. ESP if she has had any driving lessons, or shows any joyriding tendencies. I am sorry you have to go through all of this. Be SURE to keep your insulin supplies locked away. A safe is a good investment, esp if there is any hint that she may have friends who use drugs or that she has tried them. (((((hugs))))) Parenting our difficult children is NOT for the faint of heart. [/QUOTE]
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