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Teens and Kids at Weddings....
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 460012" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>We've had this problem with my family too. </p><p></p><p>Wedding receptions are getting increasingly expensive. Sometimes you can't go for a cheaper, more inclusive option because there just isn't one. or sometimes the reception place just doesn't have room.</p><p></p><p>With the wedding of one of my nephews, it caused a lot of distress in what is otherwise a very close, inclusive family. All the "adult" cousins were invited, but not my kids. easy child at the time actually was an adult, but was still not invited. But we still had to bring the kids with us because we were not leaving them at home in another city. A very expensive wedding for us. easy child & SIL1 (just boyfriend/girlfriend at the time) stayed in the motel room with the younger three and babysat them with lots of pizza and cable TV. Then in the hotel next morning at breakfast, easy child went up to the bridal couple to congratulate them. "I didn't get to catch up with you last night," her cousin the groom said. </p><p>"We weren't there, we weren't invited," she reminded him. Embarrassing. by the way, that marriage lasted four months.</p><p></p><p>With the upcoming family wedding (and with a couple of recent ones) we have made it clear - when we have to stay away from home overnight, we MUST bring difficult child 3. He cannot be left home alone, even though he is 17. We will pay for his meal if we have to, to make it easier. We have done this before. We also had a Japanese exchange student staying with us for a nephew's wedding a few years ago, we could have palmed her off for the night but she was only with us for a week and we felt attending an Aussie wedding would be a good experience for her. So we arranged with the bridal couple that we would pay for her meal, and so we got her included. She had a wonderful time and it worked out well.</p><p></p><p>With the upcoming wedding in the tropics, we're going to be away for the long weekend. My sister was adamant - no cousins at all to this one, it is just too expensive and too small a venue. But we said we have to bring difficult child 3. However, he can stay in the apartment on his own for a few hours, we'll be just down the road. </p><p>My sister suggested difficult child 3 might babysit his young second cousins (sister's little grandchildren). Some of them will be at the wedding (nephews of the bride) but I said to my sister that difficult child 3 cannot babysit unless another adult is eyeballing the kids. </p><p></p><p>If you make it clear that while difficult child might be willing to babysit, he is simply not sufficiently responsible despite his age, it might remove the pressure. Let difficult child stay in the hotel room with a computer game or DVD and some pizza. Or you could offer to pay for difficult child's meal at the reception. Yes, it is a greater expense, but this is for your convenience, not the bridal couple's. The wedding is about them. However, when you have a difficult child kid, you do need to work out some compromises in order to join in with family events, but also keep your kids safe and supervised.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 460012, member: 1991"] We've had this problem with my family too. Wedding receptions are getting increasingly expensive. Sometimes you can't go for a cheaper, more inclusive option because there just isn't one. or sometimes the reception place just doesn't have room. With the wedding of one of my nephews, it caused a lot of distress in what is otherwise a very close, inclusive family. All the "adult" cousins were invited, but not my kids. easy child at the time actually was an adult, but was still not invited. But we still had to bring the kids with us because we were not leaving them at home in another city. A very expensive wedding for us. easy child & SIL1 (just boyfriend/girlfriend at the time) stayed in the motel room with the younger three and babysat them with lots of pizza and cable TV. Then in the hotel next morning at breakfast, easy child went up to the bridal couple to congratulate them. "I didn't get to catch up with you last night," her cousin the groom said. "We weren't there, we weren't invited," she reminded him. Embarrassing. by the way, that marriage lasted four months. With the upcoming family wedding (and with a couple of recent ones) we have made it clear - when we have to stay away from home overnight, we MUST bring difficult child 3. He cannot be left home alone, even though he is 17. We will pay for his meal if we have to, to make it easier. We have done this before. We also had a Japanese exchange student staying with us for a nephew's wedding a few years ago, we could have palmed her off for the night but she was only with us for a week and we felt attending an Aussie wedding would be a good experience for her. So we arranged with the bridal couple that we would pay for her meal, and so we got her included. She had a wonderful time and it worked out well. With the upcoming wedding in the tropics, we're going to be away for the long weekend. My sister was adamant - no cousins at all to this one, it is just too expensive and too small a venue. But we said we have to bring difficult child 3. However, he can stay in the apartment on his own for a few hours, we'll be just down the road. My sister suggested difficult child 3 might babysit his young second cousins (sister's little grandchildren). Some of them will be at the wedding (nephews of the bride) but I said to my sister that difficult child 3 cannot babysit unless another adult is eyeballing the kids. If you make it clear that while difficult child might be willing to babysit, he is simply not sufficiently responsible despite his age, it might remove the pressure. Let difficult child stay in the hotel room with a computer game or DVD and some pizza. Or you could offer to pay for difficult child's meal at the reception. Yes, it is a greater expense, but this is for your convenience, not the bridal couple's. The wedding is about them. However, when you have a difficult child kid, you do need to work out some compromises in order to join in with family events, but also keep your kids safe and supervised. Marg [/QUOTE]
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