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Parent Emeritus
Tell me how you stay strong
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 714140" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>I think the biggest step for any of us is the acknowledgement that we need to do things differently. Once we are aware that we cannot change them but change our responses to them, we have stepped onto the right path. The journey may be a long one but being on the right path is huge. There are times we will come to a fork in the path and we have to stop, re-evaluate and continue on. Sometimes we take the wrong fork and go down that path a little ways and we come to an off ramp that gets us back on the right path.</p><p></p><p>I've been dealing with my son for over 20 years now and while I have detached I still find those forks in the path. Anytime he has a "crisis" that he thinks I can somehow fix, I have to pause and think. Most times I can let it go pretty quickly, other times like most recently when he sent us the letter from prison asking for $200.00 I really became angry. I also felt sorry for him and the mommy heart wanted to help but the logical person said NO WAY!! I imagine this is just how it will be and that's okay because I'm okay.</p><p></p><p>The best thing we can do is to live our lives the best we can. By us staying strong and not giving into our difficult children we are really helping them as they will learn how to handle life on their own.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 714140, member: 18516"] I think the biggest step for any of us is the acknowledgement that we need to do things differently. Once we are aware that we cannot change them but change our responses to them, we have stepped onto the right path. The journey may be a long one but being on the right path is huge. There are times we will come to a fork in the path and we have to stop, re-evaluate and continue on. Sometimes we take the wrong fork and go down that path a little ways and we come to an off ramp that gets us back on the right path. I've been dealing with my son for over 20 years now and while I have detached I still find those forks in the path. Anytime he has a "crisis" that he thinks I can somehow fix, I have to pause and think. Most times I can let it go pretty quickly, other times like most recently when he sent us the letter from prison asking for $200.00 I really became angry. I also felt sorry for him and the mommy heart wanted to help but the logical person said NO WAY!! I imagine this is just how it will be and that's okay because I'm okay. The best thing we can do is to live our lives the best we can. By us staying strong and not giving into our difficult children we are really helping them as they will learn how to handle life on their own. [/QUOTE]
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