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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 71355" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>I say no, too. </p><p></p><p>If the financial situation has changed, then you will not be able to help difficult child with rent. </p><p></p><p>Period.</p><p></p><p>Our difficult child has never been able to stay away from drug use while living at home with us. Things would start out well, but we were all so committed to making it work for him that we did not want to see it when he started to slip.</p><p></p><p>And when we did see it, we just did not have the strength it takes to throw him out with nothing.</p><p></p><p>The best we could do was pay for an apartment and get him out of here and on his own.</p><p></p><p>And that was more for our sake than his.</p><p></p><p>I agree that living at home again sets up the old child/parent relationship. THIS MAKES US VULNERABLE INSTEAD OF STRONG.</p><p></p><p>And that is why I think difficult child should not live at home again.</p><p></p><p>He needs to know that you mean what you say. Your expectations and communications with him need to be crystal clear.</p><p></p><p>This is a vulnerable time for you. It will be so hard to be strong on every front with your husband chipping away at your sense of self and integrity.</p><p></p><p>They say everything works out for the best. Trust that there is some reason this whole thing has not worked out as you had hoped for difficult child.</p><p></p><p>I think it would be a really bad idea to bring difficult child back home so he can maintain his relationship with his girlfriend.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 71355, member: 1721"] I say no, too. If the financial situation has changed, then you will not be able to help difficult child with rent. Period. Our difficult child has never been able to stay away from drug use while living at home with us. Things would start out well, but we were all so committed to making it work for him that we did not want to see it when he started to slip. And when we did see it, we just did not have the strength it takes to throw him out with nothing. The best we could do was pay for an apartment and get him out of here and on his own. And that was more for our sake than his. I agree that living at home again sets up the old child/parent relationship. THIS MAKES US VULNERABLE INSTEAD OF STRONG. And that is why I think difficult child should not live at home again. He needs to know that you mean what you say. Your expectations and communications with him need to be crystal clear. This is a vulnerable time for you. It will be so hard to be strong on every front with your husband chipping away at your sense of self and integrity. They say everything works out for the best. Trust that there is some reason this whole thing has not worked out as you had hoped for difficult child. I think it would be a really bad idea to bring difficult child back home so he can maintain his relationship with his girlfriend. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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