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That other shoe I have been fretting? Did drop, but is a relief. Still hurts though
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 532636" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>We have always been very adamant with plan B. And luckily have also his coaches etc. always been. The injuries are the real risk. The development is always a question. When they are 13 and first big cuts in teams are made, everyone in the competitive teams are dreaming of becoming pro. Not even one kid per team succeeds. Plan B is important. And luckily academics have always come easy to difficult child (to get him to go to school and do even the minimum amount of school work is a different matter, but he is really quick to learn and has special knack especially everything math and other STEM subjects.) He is also a good writer. We have had a silent agreement a long time that we don't nag about school if his grades are high enough (and they really are very high) and both we and the school even turned a blind eye to truancy because of the grades (he was having lot of social and bullying issues at school while he was younger.) Now he is doing his school mostly distance learning anyway, so that is not so much of the issue. And if his assignments are late, his teachers knock points and to me it seems he calculates it quite well how much he can afford to have these deductions and still make it up with acing exams. Most of the kids his age will graduate in few weeks. He is taking some extra time to finish school because of the sport but that is something totally common here, system is meant to be flexible like that. So his plan B is currently going well. In fact I kind of like the idea that he will take few gap years to pursue his sport and be little more mature when he will start Uni. That of course if the sport career will not turn out for him. If it does, there will be many more gap years and what he decides to do after his sport career in that point will be a different matter (because that could be as far as 20 years from now.) His plan B has been to become a pathologist since he was little and visited his aunt's workplace and saw all the cool equipment she was using. Plan C, last time I asked, was engineering. But those things he has time to think yet, just graduating with the kind of grades he is having is enough for now to keep all the doors open. I hope that time and experiences he is now having in his sport will help him to mature, whatever happens.</p><p></p><p>His arrogance is 50/50, I would say. Part of it is compensating and trying to protect himself (he is really scared of showing vulnerability probably partly because of that bullying history he has.) Other half is real him, at least now. He does very well know he is talented. He knows he is smart. He doesn't feel like being humble about it. That of course can be partly immaturity and it could still evolved to acceptable self-confidence when he matures. I should also probably point out that we live in the culture that is very intolerant to arrogance. And what we think as arrogance many other cultures consider absolutely normal self-confidence. And what we consider normal behaviour most would consider putting yourself down. But this is the culture difficult child has grown up in and to which he needs to adapt. And here the kind of arrogance he shows is strongly frowned at and causes annoyance and resentment in others.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 532636, member: 14557"] We have always been very adamant with plan B. And luckily have also his coaches etc. always been. The injuries are the real risk. The development is always a question. When they are 13 and first big cuts in teams are made, everyone in the competitive teams are dreaming of becoming pro. Not even one kid per team succeeds. Plan B is important. And luckily academics have always come easy to difficult child (to get him to go to school and do even the minimum amount of school work is a different matter, but he is really quick to learn and has special knack especially everything math and other STEM subjects.) He is also a good writer. We have had a silent agreement a long time that we don't nag about school if his grades are high enough (and they really are very high) and both we and the school even turned a blind eye to truancy because of the grades (he was having lot of social and bullying issues at school while he was younger.) Now he is doing his school mostly distance learning anyway, so that is not so much of the issue. And if his assignments are late, his teachers knock points and to me it seems he calculates it quite well how much he can afford to have these deductions and still make it up with acing exams. Most of the kids his age will graduate in few weeks. He is taking some extra time to finish school because of the sport but that is something totally common here, system is meant to be flexible like that. So his plan B is currently going well. In fact I kind of like the idea that he will take few gap years to pursue his sport and be little more mature when he will start Uni. That of course if the sport career will not turn out for him. If it does, there will be many more gap years and what he decides to do after his sport career in that point will be a different matter (because that could be as far as 20 years from now.) His plan B has been to become a pathologist since he was little and visited his aunt's workplace and saw all the cool equipment she was using. Plan C, last time I asked, was engineering. But those things he has time to think yet, just graduating with the kind of grades he is having is enough for now to keep all the doors open. I hope that time and experiences he is now having in his sport will help him to mature, whatever happens. His arrogance is 50/50, I would say. Part of it is compensating and trying to protect himself (he is really scared of showing vulnerability probably partly because of that bullying history he has.) Other half is real him, at least now. He does very well know he is talented. He knows he is smart. He doesn't feel like being humble about it. That of course can be partly immaturity and it could still evolved to acceptable self-confidence when he matures. I should also probably point out that we live in the culture that is very intolerant to arrogance. And what we think as arrogance many other cultures consider absolutely normal self-confidence. And what we consider normal behaviour most would consider putting yourself down. But this is the culture difficult child has grown up in and to which he needs to adapt. And here the kind of arrogance he shows is strongly frowned at and causes annoyance and resentment in others. [/QUOTE]
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That other shoe I have been fretting? Did drop, but is a relief. Still hurts though
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