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The Angry Phase?
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<blockquote data-quote="WearyMom18" data-source="post: 652249" data-attributes="member: 18856"><p>Yesterday she was hungry, called me and her grandmother for help and then nothing. No communication today. I guess she found some money to get high so she's good again....makes me sick. I know of I was truly hungry and my grandma offered me a meal, even a TV dinner, I would have gotten there somehow to get it. So sick of the lies. I don't want to hear about her constant struggles because it is still hard for me to deal with. I'm better and when she contacts me I've been strong and done the right thing (no money, no nothing) but it sure would be nice if she wouldn't even tell me about it. She is completely clueless to the impact on others and I also think she is so self-centered that she can't think that way. It would be so nice if she would just do her thing that clearly, is more important than being a decent, productive person and leave me alone. </p><p>she has said, in the past, that she hates to see me cry or be stressed but her actions scream, 'I want my way or I'm going to scream and slam doors and not come home for days at a time!' </p><p></p><p>I know there are ways to get on your feet, even at 18. I have given her the name and number of a place that will give her a place to stay, meals and help her learn job skills. I can only imagine in her mind she's saying, 'that's dumb Mom, I can do it myself' but then never does it. </p><p>It's so frustrating! Not only have I put myself through hell trying to help her and get her professional help but now that she's gone, I now need therapy and group support to learn how to live with the hurt and disappointment she continues to cause. It's a curse, these Difficult Child's!!!</p><p>Lord help the therapist I work with, they've got their work cut out with me. I'm a sad, mad, frustrated, hurt, confused momma of a child that doesn't care about the destruction in her wake. </p><p>When I update my Dad on my Difficult Child'S situation he says I didn't spank her butt enough growing up. Lol, he's from the old school and I remember being her age and thinking to myself that I would never do anything to disrespect my parents. I did from time to time by talking back or some other minor offense and it was handled and we went on. </p><p>I don't remember having peers that ever did the stuff my daughter has done and is still doing. I can see how the older generation would think we aren't parenting forcefully enough; demanding respect and consistent punishment as my dad does. I tell him I did all of those things and tried every other approach too and this is still the outcome. Then he said with a chuckle, 'Must be the hormones in the food!' LOL. At least he has his own ways of trying to figure this out or make sense of it although I don't think there is any logic or sense to it. Clearly, my daughter left a nice home, nice clothes, a car, college education, large and loving extended family, etc.....for what.....dope, illegal activity, poverty, suffering, homelessness? Great choice! There is no sense about it, it's a wiring problem which I guess she's going to have to digure out for herself.</p><p></p><p>Rant over...LOL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WearyMom18, post: 652249, member: 18856"] Yesterday she was hungry, called me and her grandmother for help and then nothing. No communication today. I guess she found some money to get high so she's good again....makes me sick. I know of I was truly hungry and my grandma offered me a meal, even a TV dinner, I would have gotten there somehow to get it. So sick of the lies. I don't want to hear about her constant struggles because it is still hard for me to deal with. I'm better and when she contacts me I've been strong and done the right thing (no money, no nothing) but it sure would be nice if she wouldn't even tell me about it. She is completely clueless to the impact on others and I also think she is so self-centered that she can't think that way. It would be so nice if she would just do her thing that clearly, is more important than being a decent, productive person and leave me alone. she has said, in the past, that she hates to see me cry or be stressed but her actions scream, 'I want my way or I'm going to scream and slam doors and not come home for days at a time!' I know there are ways to get on your feet, even at 18. I have given her the name and number of a place that will give her a place to stay, meals and help her learn job skills. I can only imagine in her mind she's saying, 'that's dumb Mom, I can do it myself' but then never does it. It's so frustrating! Not only have I put myself through hell trying to help her and get her professional help but now that she's gone, I now need therapy and group support to learn how to live with the hurt and disappointment she continues to cause. It's a curse, these Difficult Child's!!! Lord help the therapist I work with, they've got their work cut out with me. I'm a sad, mad, frustrated, hurt, confused momma of a child that doesn't care about the destruction in her wake. When I update my Dad on my Difficult Child'S situation he says I didn't spank her butt enough growing up. Lol, he's from the old school and I remember being her age and thinking to myself that I would never do anything to disrespect my parents. I did from time to time by talking back or some other minor offense and it was handled and we went on. I don't remember having peers that ever did the stuff my daughter has done and is still doing. I can see how the older generation would think we aren't parenting forcefully enough; demanding respect and consistent punishment as my dad does. I tell him I did all of those things and tried every other approach too and this is still the outcome. Then he said with a chuckle, 'Must be the hormones in the food!' LOL. At least he has his own ways of trying to figure this out or make sense of it although I don't think there is any logic or sense to it. Clearly, my daughter left a nice home, nice clothes, a car, college education, large and loving extended family, etc.....for what.....dope, illegal activity, poverty, suffering, homelessness? Great choice! There is no sense about it, it's a wiring problem which I guess she's going to have to digure out for herself. Rant over...LOL [/QUOTE]
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