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The autism rears it's ugly head at get together last night
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 287587" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>MWM,</p><p></p><p>Marg is right. If he didn't actually have a meltdown, he did great! Keep taking him places he is unfamiliar with. If you only take him to places that are familiar, he will NEVER get any more comfortable in unfamiliar places. It will be a true "clipping his wings".</p><p></p><p>We knew Wiz could be uncomfortable in unfamiliar places. I always made sure I had a protein rich snack with me, and some pretzels or animal crackers. Knowing he had "safe" food to eat in case wherever we went didn't have food he liked made a HUGE difference. It took me a while to figure it out, but I did. So once the balance bars with decent amounts of protein came out we would stop and get those if I didn't have a snack handy to take. So he knew we could ALWAYS stop at a WalGreens or WalMart for "his" food.</p><p></p><p>I took him LOTS of places because I wanted him to be comfortable in LOTS of places. Street fairs, like Taste of Wherever and Oktoberfest celebrations, are excellent places. It takes budgeting, but is well worth it. Find the portapotties as soon as you get there, point out that you have "his" safe food, and that you will go in 30 minutes (Or however long you decide), and get him engaged in an activity - either something provided at one of the booths, choosing a good booth for a snack, or with a map of the event he can plan a place that HE would like to go.</p><p></p><p>At first he will be miserable. You might not even be able to stay for 15 minutes. Don't get upset when you have to take him home. You will. Just be prepared. Do whatever YOU want to do when you can squeeze it in. Remember the outing is to help him become comfortable in unfamiliar places. Remember that he is NOT faking it, he is truly uncomfortable and working very hard to keep it together. If you go to a mall and actually need something, go there AFTER you show him the snacks you brought and the restrooms. Either in one of the anchor stores or in the mall itself. Also point out the map - he can help figure Occupational Therapist (OT) how to get wherever. It is GOOD for him to get involved.</p><p></p><p>After a while he will be more and more comfortable EVERYWHERE. This greatly increases his potential financial situation - he will be able to earn a decent living simply because YOU taught him how to handle himself in unfamiliar places. He may never "'fit in" as easily as your daughter, but he WILL become able to cope. </p><p></p><p>Try to ENJOY the outings with him simply because you are with him and your other kids. Make it not so much about doing something specific as much as enjoying being together somewhere new.</p><p></p><p>It also may be helpful to include bookstores like Borders and Barnes and Noble. They are usually quiet, they have comfy chairs, they have the cafe (water is free) and clean bathrooms. And they are ALL pretty much the same. It would give him a sort of "oasis" that you could take him to in order to regroup if you must stay in an unfamiliar area. THis helped us immensely with ALL the kids. They would settle down in a bookstore because it had interesting things and comfortable chairs. Let him sit and look at a book or even a comic. Maybe a Garfield book? They truly do not expect people to buy every trip (I know, I worked in one!). And they have the comfy chairs so you will sit and read there.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can get to a point where he enjoys the adventure of an outing.</p><p></p><p>Providing a safe escape to the car is also important, I forgot to mention that. If you are in a mall, find a store he really likes. For us it is the bookstore. Make sure he knows that you will stop there and give him some time to regroup. Or that you will leave when it gets too much to bear.</p><p></p><p>Good Luck!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 287587, member: 1233"] MWM, Marg is right. If he didn't actually have a meltdown, he did great! Keep taking him places he is unfamiliar with. If you only take him to places that are familiar, he will NEVER get any more comfortable in unfamiliar places. It will be a true "clipping his wings". We knew Wiz could be uncomfortable in unfamiliar places. I always made sure I had a protein rich snack with me, and some pretzels or animal crackers. Knowing he had "safe" food to eat in case wherever we went didn't have food he liked made a HUGE difference. It took me a while to figure it out, but I did. So once the balance bars with decent amounts of protein came out we would stop and get those if I didn't have a snack handy to take. So he knew we could ALWAYS stop at a WalGreens or WalMart for "his" food. I took him LOTS of places because I wanted him to be comfortable in LOTS of places. Street fairs, like Taste of Wherever and Oktoberfest celebrations, are excellent places. It takes budgeting, but is well worth it. Find the portapotties as soon as you get there, point out that you have "his" safe food, and that you will go in 30 minutes (Or however long you decide), and get him engaged in an activity - either something provided at one of the booths, choosing a good booth for a snack, or with a map of the event he can plan a place that HE would like to go. At first he will be miserable. You might not even be able to stay for 15 minutes. Don't get upset when you have to take him home. You will. Just be prepared. Do whatever YOU want to do when you can squeeze it in. Remember the outing is to help him become comfortable in unfamiliar places. Remember that he is NOT faking it, he is truly uncomfortable and working very hard to keep it together. If you go to a mall and actually need something, go there AFTER you show him the snacks you brought and the restrooms. Either in one of the anchor stores or in the mall itself. Also point out the map - he can help figure Occupational Therapist (OT) how to get wherever. It is GOOD for him to get involved. After a while he will be more and more comfortable EVERYWHERE. This greatly increases his potential financial situation - he will be able to earn a decent living simply because YOU taught him how to handle himself in unfamiliar places. He may never "'fit in" as easily as your daughter, but he WILL become able to cope. Try to ENJOY the outings with him simply because you are with him and your other kids. Make it not so much about doing something specific as much as enjoying being together somewhere new. It also may be helpful to include bookstores like Borders and Barnes and Noble. They are usually quiet, they have comfy chairs, they have the cafe (water is free) and clean bathrooms. And they are ALL pretty much the same. It would give him a sort of "oasis" that you could take him to in order to regroup if you must stay in an unfamiliar area. THis helped us immensely with ALL the kids. They would settle down in a bookstore because it had interesting things and comfortable chairs. Let him sit and look at a book or even a comic. Maybe a Garfield book? They truly do not expect people to buy every trip (I know, I worked in one!). And they have the comfy chairs so you will sit and read there. I hope you can get to a point where he enjoys the adventure of an outing. Providing a safe escape to the car is also important, I forgot to mention that. If you are in a mall, find a store he really likes. For us it is the bookstore. Make sure he knows that you will stop there and give him some time to regroup. Or that you will leave when it gets too much to bear. Good Luck!! [/QUOTE]
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