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The book I've been reading: narcissts and socipaths
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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 430442" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>A lot of this sounds so very familiar! I fully believe that my ex-husband could be the poster boy for narcissisism, but there's a lot of the sociopathic behavior in there too. I used to think that he was just the most selfish, self-centered person on the face of the earth but the more I learn about narcissisism, I think that's exactly what he is! Absolutely nothing or nobody mattered to him except in how they could be used to benefit HIM, even his own family, even his children. He is also an alcoholic and now is heavily in to drugs too but I really believe that the narcissisism came long before the addictions. Nothing is important to him except what <em>he</em> wants and <em>his</em> creature comforts. He really believes that the rules don't apply to him because he's so "special", everyone owes him, nothing else matters, which has lost him his marriage(s), his home, his job, his family, even his children. And he's another one who, if his mouth is moving, he's lying, to get what he wants.</p><p> </p><p>He was very concerned what people thought of him and went out of his way to show people outside of the family what a great guy he was. Someone who just met him or didn't know him very well would think he was a really nice guy but it was all a big front. It was like he was trying to win people over to his side, to validate him, to back him up. He catered to our daughter who was really the last hold out and who was the one who ended up being the most hurt in the end. He had no use for our son at all because he was never as susceptable to his BS as our daughter was. He had no problem using our son's name and SSN to run up a bunch of bills, ruining his credit for years, because HE needed something. When his mother died, our son was still in high school and he insisted that he fly to Florida with him and spend a week there, even though our son barely knew his grandmother and was missing school and the class play he was in. He refused to let him return home early after the funeral to be in his play because HE wanted company on the flight back! There is no reasoning with thinking like that. He borrowed large sums of money from our daughter and sister in law, money he swore to pay back, money they couldn't afford to lose, and never paid it back. When they refused to loan him more, he wrote them off as being disloyal to him, never looked back and never regretted it. Same with his brothers and sisters who fell for his hard luck stories and loaned him money time and time again until they, too, finally cut him off. They haven't heard from him since. He really felt that if they had any extra money, they should share it with him because they had it and he didn't and it just wasn't fair!</p><p> </p><p>I just wish I had realized all this about twenty years sooner and I could have saved us all a whole lot of turmoil and heartache!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 430442, member: 1883"] A lot of this sounds so very familiar! I fully believe that my ex-husband could be the poster boy for narcissisism, but there's a lot of the sociopathic behavior in there too. I used to think that he was just the most selfish, self-centered person on the face of the earth but the more I learn about narcissisism, I think that's exactly what he is! Absolutely nothing or nobody mattered to him except in how they could be used to benefit HIM, even his own family, even his children. He is also an alcoholic and now is heavily in to drugs too but I really believe that the narcissisism came long before the addictions. Nothing is important to him except what [I]he[/I] wants and [I]his[/I] creature comforts. He really believes that the rules don't apply to him because he's so "special", everyone owes him, nothing else matters, which has lost him his marriage(s), his home, his job, his family, even his children. And he's another one who, if his mouth is moving, he's lying, to get what he wants. He was very concerned what people thought of him and went out of his way to show people outside of the family what a great guy he was. Someone who just met him or didn't know him very well would think he was a really nice guy but it was all a big front. It was like he was trying to win people over to his side, to validate him, to back him up. He catered to our daughter who was really the last hold out and who was the one who ended up being the most hurt in the end. He had no use for our son at all because he was never as susceptable to his BS as our daughter was. He had no problem using our son's name and SSN to run up a bunch of bills, ruining his credit for years, because HE needed something. When his mother died, our son was still in high school and he insisted that he fly to Florida with him and spend a week there, even though our son barely knew his grandmother and was missing school and the class play he was in. He refused to let him return home early after the funeral to be in his play because HE wanted company on the flight back! There is no reasoning with thinking like that. He borrowed large sums of money from our daughter and sister in law, money he swore to pay back, money they couldn't afford to lose, and never paid it back. When they refused to loan him more, he wrote them off as being disloyal to him, never looked back and never regretted it. Same with his brothers and sisters who fell for his hard luck stories and loaned him money time and time again until they, too, finally cut him off. They haven't heard from him since. He really felt that if they had any extra money, they should share it with him because they had it and he didn't and it just wasn't fair! I just wish I had realized all this about twenty years sooner and I could have saved us all a whole lot of turmoil and heartache! [/QUOTE]
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The book I've been reading: narcissts and socipaths
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