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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 738428" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I agree with you and everybody else. Give it time. There is no urgency. All she (really) needs to hear from you, you have said in the letter.</p><p></p><p>She could NOT be in a better place. She will sleep. There are books. A library cart will go by every few days or every week. There are free bibles. (That is what I am doing now. I am reading the bible to deal with anxiety and sadness.) She may find it very hard to deal with her feelings, but really, what choice is there? If she needs to see a therapist, there is one there. She has company. People who understand better than do we, where she is at, and what this process entails. The other inmates.</p><p></p><p>This is really not about you, New Leaf. Nor is it about your relationship with her.(Except to the extent that for all of us, for each of us, this provokes in us an existential crisis, of near biblical proportions, but that is something different, and you have been handling this masterfully during your years here on the board and in turn helping us, handle our own versions.)</p><p></p><p>We. You and I. Are in pretty much the same place right now. Trying very hard to not own something that is not ours to take on. They try to rope us in. To make it about us. What we can do. Don't do. Won't do. Will do.</p><p></p><p>And the horribleness of this is that our mind goes there too. Even when we know better.</p><p></p><p>I think it was very good to hold back. And when you tried, you were held back. Good.</p><p></p><p>This is not about you. Or anything you can or should do. That is my mantra, now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 738428, member: 18958"] I agree with you and everybody else. Give it time. There is no urgency. All she (really) needs to hear from you, you have said in the letter. She could NOT be in a better place. She will sleep. There are books. A library cart will go by every few days or every week. There are free bibles. (That is what I am doing now. I am reading the bible to deal with anxiety and sadness.) She may find it very hard to deal with her feelings, but really, what choice is there? If she needs to see a therapist, there is one there. She has company. People who understand better than do we, where she is at, and what this process entails. The other inmates. This is really not about you, New Leaf. Nor is it about your relationship with her.(Except to the extent that for all of us, for each of us, this provokes in us an existential crisis, of near biblical proportions, but that is something different, and you have been handling this masterfully during your years here on the board and in turn helping us, handle our own versions.) We. You and I. Are in pretty much the same place right now. Trying very hard to not own something that is not ours to take on. They try to rope us in. To make it about us. What we can do. Don't do. Won't do. Will do. And the horribleness of this is that our mind goes there too. Even when we know better. I think it was very good to hold back. And when you tried, you were held back. Good. This is not about you. Or anything you can or should do. That is my mantra, now. [/QUOTE]
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