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<blockquote data-quote="Kalahou" data-source="post: 738433" data-attributes="member: 19617"><p>Dear Leafy,</p><p></p><p>I think writing a short note is a good idea. (I know you have spoken on the phone already to Tornado once, and it was not a happy call.) And as it has been a month, she could probably use a stroke of caring. Just getting a piece of mail in there may bring a calm to her.</p><p></p><p>It's hard to know what to write. I looked back to see what I wrote in the first correspondence to my son in jail. I waited until he had called first. I kept the first note ( and even subsequent ones) to my son short / simple / unemotional / trying to make my position clear. Everyone has their own way of how they want to communicate with a Difficult Child. But for what it’s worth, I'll share what I sent to my son in the first letter. It went something like this :</p><p>_______________</p><p>Hello XX ,</p><p>This note is a follow up to your phone call last week. I know you have been trying to call. I need to tell you, son, there is nothing more we will do at this time. We will not be doing bail or sponsoring supervised release.</p><p></p><p>I understand you feel you are in a hard situation. You are going to come through it. Some pono things can happen for you there. If you see nothing important and good for you there, you can change <em>how</em> you see, and find something to make it important, make it good, make a difference - for you or for someone else. You are smart, and know what you need to do for your good.</p><p></p><p>We always care for you and hope a good life for you. Nothing changes in our lives unless we make changes in ourselves. I am confident you will work it out. Love to you. I wish the best for you as only you can determine your own life.</p><p>Aloha, ~~~</p><p></p><p>P.S. <u>Info items and questions</u>.</p><p>· Your children asked about you. I plan to tell them you are in jail but that you are all right and love them.</p><p>· Do you want continued correspondence now and then from me? If not, I won’t send. LMK</p><p>· I will answer limited phone calls from you, if and when possible. I am getting the GTL set up.</p><p>· I leave it to you to work out your mandatory needs there.</p><p>____________________________</p><p></p><p>Nothing about Difficult Children is easy. We never know what to do or how it will come out. Even though my son has made better strides the last 2 years, every day I still have FOG that I need to work our myself. My thoughts, love and prayers are with you, Tita, as you stay onipa'a in this challenge. You are going to be alright.</p><p>Ka la hou ....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kalahou, post: 738433, member: 19617"] Dear Leafy, I think writing a short note is a good idea. (I know you have spoken on the phone already to Tornado once, and it was not a happy call.) And as it has been a month, she could probably use a stroke of caring. Just getting a piece of mail in there may bring a calm to her. It's hard to know what to write. I looked back to see what I wrote in the first correspondence to my son in jail. I waited until he had called first. I kept the first note ( and even subsequent ones) to my son short / simple / unemotional / trying to make my position clear. Everyone has their own way of how they want to communicate with a Difficult Child. But for what it’s worth, I'll share what I sent to my son in the first letter. It went something like this : _______________ Hello XX , This note is a follow up to your phone call last week. I know you have been trying to call. I need to tell you, son, there is nothing more we will do at this time. We will not be doing bail or sponsoring supervised release. I understand you feel you are in a hard situation. You are going to come through it. Some pono things can happen for you there. If you see nothing important and good for you there, you can change [I]how[/I] you see, and find something to make it important, make it good, make a difference - for you or for someone else. You are smart, and know what you need to do for your good. We always care for you and hope a good life for you. Nothing changes in our lives unless we make changes in ourselves. I am confident you will work it out. Love to you. I wish the best for you as only you can determine your own life. Aloha, ~~~ P.S. [U]Info items and questions[/U]. · Your children asked about you. I plan to tell them you are in jail but that you are all right and love them. · Do you want continued correspondence now and then from me? If not, I won’t send. LMK · I will answer limited phone calls from you, if and when possible. I am getting the GTL set up. · I leave it to you to work out your mandatory needs there. ____________________________ Nothing about Difficult Children is easy. We never know what to do or how it will come out. Even though my son has made better strides the last 2 years, every day I still have FOG that I need to work our myself. My thoughts, love and prayers are with you, Tita, as you stay onipa'a in this challenge. You are going to be alright. Ka la hou .... [/QUOTE]
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