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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 738546" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Sooooo, I get a call from the public defender, trying to urge me to sponsor my daughter. “You are your daughters first choice.” She says, like it is a Publishers Clearing House prize, or something. It feels more like one of those scam calls. Being new to this whole situation, I apologize for my “jailbird Mom for dummies” questions. When she explains that this is for Tornado’s request for early supervised release, I took a deep breath and said “Can’t do it.” I told her in a nutshell the storms we have gone through and that my daughter is addicted to meth, with two drug houses in the neighborhood, this is not the place for her, neither would she follow rules, or listen to me. There was a pause on the other end, silence. Then she started talking rehab and IOP, family support, yada, yada, yada.</p><p>I imagine this young woman must think I am cold and heartless. How could she know the journey we have been on?</p><p>Nope.</p><p>Can’t do it.</p><p>I have my son, senior in high school, I am a widow, I have my daughter and her baby living with us.</p><p>It is still hard to say no.</p><p>But.... </p><p>I am not going down that road with a near 30 year old who is stubborn and disrespectful.</p><p>She will have to figure this out on her time.</p><p>There. </p><p>More fuel for her to despise me.</p><p>Whatever.</p><p>I doubt very much that she is ready to get clean, she wants OUT.</p><p>I will not rearrange my home, my life, to dig her out of this mess.</p><p>There is still this ache inside of me that I am pushing down with all of my might. That is the ache that drove me to pull out the stops and try to “help” her because “this time will be different”. The tough side of my logical brain retorts back “If it is different, she will make it happen.”</p><p>I am trying not to enter the bipolar zone wars, my mothers bleeding heart loses all sense and falls hook line and sinker for the game.</p><p>Lord let my realistic, “Helloooo Leafy, we have been at this sort of juncture before”.......stoic voice prevail.</p><p>Not getting on the horror go round.</p><p>I am repeating your mantra, Copa, this is not about me. It is not up to me, or what I will, or won’t, should or shouldn’t do. </p><p>It is up to her.</p><p>If the public defender calls me again, I will tell her, “If you really want to help my daughter, get her into rehab, but first, <em>she really has to want to go.”</em></p><p><em>Yet, still, on this morning as I wake, my heart is sad.</em></p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 738546, member: 19522"] Sooooo, I get a call from the public defender, trying to urge me to sponsor my daughter. “You are your daughters first choice.” She says, like it is a Publishers Clearing House prize, or something. It feels more like one of those scam calls. Being new to this whole situation, I apologize for my “jailbird Mom for dummies” questions. When she explains that this is for Tornado’s request for early supervised release, I took a deep breath and said “Can’t do it.” I told her in a nutshell the storms we have gone through and that my daughter is addicted to meth, with two drug houses in the neighborhood, this is not the place for her, neither would she follow rules, or listen to me. There was a pause on the other end, silence. Then she started talking rehab and IOP, family support, yada, yada, yada. I imagine this young woman must think I am cold and heartless. How could she know the journey we have been on? Nope. Can’t do it. I have my son, senior in high school, I am a widow, I have my daughter and her baby living with us. It is still hard to say no. But.... I am not going down that road with a near 30 year old who is stubborn and disrespectful. She will have to figure this out on her time. There. More fuel for her to despise me. Whatever. I doubt very much that she is ready to get clean, she wants OUT. I will not rearrange my home, my life, to dig her out of this mess. There is still this ache inside of me that I am pushing down with all of my might. That is the ache that drove me to pull out the stops and try to “help” her because “this time will be different”. The tough side of my logical brain retorts back “If it is different, she will make it happen.” I am trying not to enter the bipolar zone wars, my mothers bleeding heart loses all sense and falls hook line and sinker for the game. Lord let my realistic, “Helloooo Leafy, we have been at this sort of juncture before”.......stoic voice prevail. Not getting on the horror go round. I am repeating your mantra, Copa, this is not about me. It is not up to me, or what I will, or won’t, should or shouldn’t do. It is up to her. If the public defender calls me again, I will tell her, “If you really want to help my daughter, get her into rehab, but first, [I]she really has to want to go.” Yet, still, on this morning as I wake, my heart is sad.[/I] Leafy [/QUOTE]
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