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Parent Emeritus
The coming Thanksgiving crisis--home from college
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 391763" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Maybe because money is tight for us, I'd never pay for a kid to go to college to take drugs and slack off but that's me. I also wouldn't let him come home unless he followed our rules, one being that he joins a rehab program because I had a drug using daughter and she didn't quit until I did Tough Love. However, I agree with everyone else that you have no power to ruin his life. He's the only one who can ruin it and he's the only one who can be grateful for his advantages and utilize them the right way. At his age, you have no influence over his behavior, but you can give him natural consequences. This has nothing to do with you, not at his age. He is choosing his friends, choosing to slack at school, choosing to smoke cigarettes (thus making his asthma worse) and choosing to be wishy-washy and irresponsible. </p><p></p><p>In the end, it's up to you. I just know that coddling my daughter did nothing to stop her behavior. SHE had to want to stop and that didn't happen until she was told to leave the house.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 391763, member: 1550"] Maybe because money is tight for us, I'd never pay for a kid to go to college to take drugs and slack off but that's me. I also wouldn't let him come home unless he followed our rules, one being that he joins a rehab program because I had a drug using daughter and she didn't quit until I did Tough Love. However, I agree with everyone else that you have no power to ruin his life. He's the only one who can ruin it and he's the only one who can be grateful for his advantages and utilize them the right way. At his age, you have no influence over his behavior, but you can give him natural consequences. This has nothing to do with you, not at his age. He is choosing his friends, choosing to slack at school, choosing to smoke cigarettes (thus making his asthma worse) and choosing to be wishy-washy and irresponsible. In the end, it's up to you. I just know that coddling my daughter did nothing to stop her behavior. SHE had to want to stop and that didn't happen until she was told to leave the house. [/QUOTE]
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The coming Thanksgiving crisis--home from college
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