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The David Pelzer "A Child Called It" Family War aftermath of book
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 654834" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Thank you, Tanya.</p><p>I am so sorry for what you went through. It seems all three of your were the targets.</p><p></p><p>Nothing is much more hurtful than people you love or once loved not believing you or calling your hideous experiences fiction, even if it's not sexual abuse. There are so many ways to be abused and it screws with your head if you don't get help. When I read my sister's post about how my words were mostly fiction, something snapped in me. I had always loved her dearly, but in that moment it was gone. And when I read that my brother also didn't believe me, well, we had not been connected for a long time so it mattered less. We had not had much of a relationship for a long time, but I had loved my sister to pieces, even with the often long cut offs, cops, and disagreements.</p><p></p><p>I do not expect my siblings to have my memories or perspective of growing up in our house and afterward because mother treated them as if they were worthwhile people. But I was pretty shocked to read that my own account of my experience was not believed. It's not like they didn't know what happened. I never want to see them again.</p><p></p><p>I will see them one last time and I hope it's not for ten years. I decided not to let them chase me from my father's funeral. I love him because, although he was not perfect in any way (nor was or am I), he did not treat me worse than he treated them. And that is precious to me. He is the only family member to think of me as equal tot hem, except for me (I happen to think I've made much better life choices than Sis and bro has just been alone all his life...I wouldn't want that life. I know he has other issues too; not close enough to have any handle on what they are). My family will go as my family. Probably Bart won't/can't come, but everyone else will stand together and I will be comforted and if they stare at me, I will stare back. With my family at my side. I have nothing to be ashamed of and I will not be alone. And I want to honor my father one day the way he wishes to be honored even if it's uncomfortable a bit for me. It's not about me.</p><p></p><p>Tanya, you are a strong, courageous woman. I did not go through what you did yet the constant verbal stuff and the slap from the grave from my mother hurt me so badly that I can't imagine what YOU and your sisters went through as far as pain. I admire how well you seem to have healed.</p><p></p><p>I never doubt it when anybody says he or s he was abused. I really think it's the very tiny minority who would like about something that awful. Tanya, I also have a very good long term memory. I wish I could forget. The funny thing is, I have always had a challenged short-term memory. But I can remember a lot farther back and with a lot more clarity than most people remember things in their childhoods.</p><p></p><p>Thank you again. You are another hero of mine now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 654834, member: 1550"] Thank you, Tanya. I am so sorry for what you went through. It seems all three of your were the targets. Nothing is much more hurtful than people you love or once loved not believing you or calling your hideous experiences fiction, even if it's not sexual abuse. There are so many ways to be abused and it screws with your head if you don't get help. When I read my sister's post about how my words were mostly fiction, something snapped in me. I had always loved her dearly, but in that moment it was gone. And when I read that my brother also didn't believe me, well, we had not been connected for a long time so it mattered less. We had not had much of a relationship for a long time, but I had loved my sister to pieces, even with the often long cut offs, cops, and disagreements. I do not expect my siblings to have my memories or perspective of growing up in our house and afterward because mother treated them as if they were worthwhile people. But I was pretty shocked to read that my own account of my experience was not believed. It's not like they didn't know what happened. I never want to see them again. I will see them one last time and I hope it's not for ten years. I decided not to let them chase me from my father's funeral. I love him because, although he was not perfect in any way (nor was or am I), he did not treat me worse than he treated them. And that is precious to me. He is the only family member to think of me as equal tot hem, except for me (I happen to think I've made much better life choices than Sis and bro has just been alone all his life...I wouldn't want that life. I know he has other issues too; not close enough to have any handle on what they are). My family will go as my family. Probably Bart won't/can't come, but everyone else will stand together and I will be comforted and if they stare at me, I will stare back. With my family at my side. I have nothing to be ashamed of and I will not be alone. And I want to honor my father one day the way he wishes to be honored even if it's uncomfortable a bit for me. It's not about me. Tanya, you are a strong, courageous woman. I did not go through what you did yet the constant verbal stuff and the slap from the grave from my mother hurt me so badly that I can't imagine what YOU and your sisters went through as far as pain. I admire how well you seem to have healed. I never doubt it when anybody says he or s he was abused. I really think it's the very tiny minority who would like about something that awful. Tanya, I also have a very good long term memory. I wish I could forget. The funny thing is, I have always had a challenged short-term memory. But I can remember a lot farther back and with a lot more clarity than most people remember things in their childhoods. Thank you again. You are another hero of mine now. [/QUOTE]
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