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The Watercooler
The David Pelzer "A Child Called It" Family War aftermath of book
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 654839" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Lil, thank you, sweet woman. But trust me, being even normal did not come easy. I never saw normal. My FOO was a loonybin. I worked very hard to be where I am and I had to decide I would never ever get involved with an abusive man after my first marriage. I'm not going to call my first husband abusive. He was just very socially clueless and said mean things, but not to be mean...not in the vicious way my mother did. Hard to explain. But he could not change and I had so I left him. I was determined to either find a good man with a sweet soul who I knew loved me or just date sometimes and not marry, although I desperately wanted more children. I did not stay with anyone for too long until I met my current.</p><p></p><p>Lil, you and I are very lucky. There are a lot of icky men out there. For the men, Jabber, I am quite sure there are a lot of icky women too, however YOU also got lucky when you met Lil <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Back to being normal...that started slowly on a learning curb when I became active in Codapendent's Anonymous and that wasn't until my 30s. I was a confused mess until then. I didn't know who or what I was. I had been brought up with no rules and no social skills and a lot of distain. I didn't know how other people behaved. I was lucky I met one of my first very good forever friends when I was in my twenties because we would talk a lot and she helped me out in this area, even more than my psychiatrists. Did I say she was of two angels I've known?<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/11-24a.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":angel3:" title="angel :angel3:" data-shortname=":angel3:" />Although I started out my adult life with almost no identity (it certainly was not with my FOO), I have a strong identity now and it feels very nice.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 654839, member: 1550"] Lil, thank you, sweet woman. But trust me, being even normal did not come easy. I never saw normal. My FOO was a loonybin. I worked very hard to be where I am and I had to decide I would never ever get involved with an abusive man after my first marriage. I'm not going to call my first husband abusive. He was just very socially clueless and said mean things, but not to be mean...not in the vicious way my mother did. Hard to explain. But he could not change and I had so I left him. I was determined to either find a good man with a sweet soul who I knew loved me or just date sometimes and not marry, although I desperately wanted more children. I did not stay with anyone for too long until I met my current. Lil, you and I are very lucky. There are a lot of icky men out there. For the men, Jabber, I am quite sure there are a lot of icky women too, however YOU also got lucky when you met Lil :) Back to being normal...that started slowly on a learning curb when I became active in Codapendent's Anonymous and that wasn't until my 30s. I was a confused mess until then. I didn't know who or what I was. I had been brought up with no rules and no social skills and a lot of distain. I didn't know how other people behaved. I was lucky I met one of my first very good forever friends when I was in my twenties because we would talk a lot and she helped me out in this area, even more than my psychiatrists. Did I say she was of two angels I've known?:angel3:Although I started out my adult life with almost no identity (it certainly was not with my FOO), I have a strong identity now and it feels very nice. [/QUOTE]
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The David Pelzer "A Child Called It" Family War aftermath of book
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