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The double and sometimes triple lives of my difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="dashcat" data-source="post: 446732" data-attributes="member: 9175"><p>I struggle with this, toughlovin. I am smart enough not click on the thumnails of the photos she's sending (did that once ...not good). I know I'll reach a point where I will say enough is enough ... but my struggle is that - if I didn't know what I know, I would honestly think she was doing very well. She has her snarky periods but, for the most part, is very loving and sweet with me. She does not show - to anyone - any more than a tiny tip of the iceberg of her turmoil. It is not the information, itself, that i am seeking. What I am seeking is knowledge that she IS struggling - and struggling mightily with a dizzying array of issues. </p><p></p><p>It's a tough judgement call and, like many situational ethics, I know I am justifying my behavior. I also know I can't change the behavior through what I know. But - by knowing what I know I feel I might be able to be in a better position - down the road - to help her. I also don't want to be blindsided again. Right now - publicly -she waxes poetic about B...how she loves him, he is her rock, her world...they are getting married. Meanwhile, there's Tom, Dick & Harriet being strung along in the wings. If she takes off with one of them, it will be bad enough without it being a complete shock. I don't even see Tom, Dick or Harriet as individual situations but I do see them as one very large struggle that my difficult child is embroiled in.</p><p></p><p>I guess I'm just amazed at the depth of her magical thinking...and how far into her fantasy world that she lives.</p><p></p><p>Dash</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dashcat, post: 446732, member: 9175"] I struggle with this, toughlovin. I am smart enough not click on the thumnails of the photos she's sending (did that once ...not good). I know I'll reach a point where I will say enough is enough ... but my struggle is that - if I didn't know what I know, I would honestly think she was doing very well. She has her snarky periods but, for the most part, is very loving and sweet with me. She does not show - to anyone - any more than a tiny tip of the iceberg of her turmoil. It is not the information, itself, that i am seeking. What I am seeking is knowledge that she IS struggling - and struggling mightily with a dizzying array of issues. It's a tough judgement call and, like many situational ethics, I know I am justifying my behavior. I also know I can't change the behavior through what I know. But - by knowing what I know I feel I might be able to be in a better position - down the road - to help her. I also don't want to be blindsided again. Right now - publicly -she waxes poetic about B...how she loves him, he is her rock, her world...they are getting married. Meanwhile, there's Tom, Dick & Harriet being strung along in the wings. If she takes off with one of them, it will be bad enough without it being a complete shock. I don't even see Tom, Dick or Harriet as individual situations but I do see them as one very large struggle that my difficult child is embroiled in. I guess I'm just amazed at the depth of her magical thinking...and how far into her fantasy world that she lives. Dash [/QUOTE]
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The double and sometimes triple lives of my difficult child
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