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The double and sometimes triple lives of my difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 446807" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>((((HUGS)))) So hard to see all the lies and drama unfold. That list of lies/personas started sounding a lot like my husband. </p><p></p><p>I think a big part of the problem is, that these lies/fantasies/personas are used to <strong>cover up</strong> any turmoil the person is experiencing. Essentially they are lying to themselves that there is anything wrong, and therefore come off as completely believable when they say they are OK. This is the hardest type of disorder to get help for since the 'patient' thinks there is NOTHING wrong. Think of it as self medicating with drama and not something more tangible like drugs. Does not make it any easier for you to see your daughter this way, I know.</p><p></p><p>I agree with <strong>toughlovin </strong>that this is not good for YOU. You have collected some evidence, and you can hold on to it, so if somewhere down the road, difficult child decides there is a problem, and she wants help, you'll have some supporting 'evidence'. BUT if she ever does decide to get help and finds out you betrayed her privacy, then there will be even more issues to contend with. The reality is, that all this information you have right now will not help you help her. She is legally an adult, so there isn't anything you can do without a request of help from her.</p><p></p><p>Fortunately, all hope is not lost. My husband, despite being a compulsive liar, delusional, and an alcoholic, continually finds gainful employment and keeps it. Ppl ADORE him! (who wouldn't adore a man with such a <em>'colorful'</em> and <em>'accomplished'</em> life?) He does change jobs more frequently than most, partially due to the lies catching up with him, but when he finds a good one, he stays for 3-4 years.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 446807, member: 11965"] ((((HUGS)))) So hard to see all the lies and drama unfold. That list of lies/personas started sounding a lot like my husband. I think a big part of the problem is, that these lies/fantasies/personas are used to [B]cover up[/B] any turmoil the person is experiencing. Essentially they are lying to themselves that there is anything wrong, and therefore come off as completely believable when they say they are OK. This is the hardest type of disorder to get help for since the 'patient' thinks there is NOTHING wrong. Think of it as self medicating with drama and not something more tangible like drugs. Does not make it any easier for you to see your daughter this way, I know. I agree with [B]toughlovin [/B]that this is not good for YOU. You have collected some evidence, and you can hold on to it, so if somewhere down the road, difficult child decides there is a problem, and she wants help, you'll have some supporting 'evidence'. BUT if she ever does decide to get help and finds out you betrayed her privacy, then there will be even more issues to contend with. The reality is, that all this information you have right now will not help you help her. She is legally an adult, so there isn't anything you can do without a request of help from her. Fortunately, all hope is not lost. My husband, despite being a compulsive liar, delusional, and an alcoholic, continually finds gainful employment and keeps it. Ppl ADORE him! (who wouldn't adore a man with such a [I]'colorful'[/I] and [I]'accomplished'[/I] life?) He does change jobs more frequently than most, partially due to the lies catching up with him, but when he finds a good one, he stays for 3-4 years. [/QUOTE]
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The double and sometimes triple lives of my difficult child
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