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Parent Emeritus
The double and sometimes triple lives of my difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 447504" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Dash, for all the reasons you listed I became the queen of slueth's, or as one of difficult child's so called friends called me "troll". I went so far as to logging into her plenty of fish account and readinf messages guys (and gals) would send her and delete them before she saw them. I intercepted IM's and pretended I was her, I deleted freinds from her facebook account and blocked numbers from her cell phone. I was desperate. I thought for each person I blocked I was saving her from herself but all I was doing was driving myself crazy. And yet I couldn't stop because I didn't want to be caught unaware. To be surprised was worse than knowing ahead of time.</p><p></p><p>Looking back on it now I realize how crazy this made me and it didn't get her into treatment any sooner. Your difficult child is engaging in dangerous and addictive behavior, but you know that. She needs treatment. I know you also know that her dad is not helping and in fact enabling her behavior. Until she hits bottom there is nothing you can do. Hard as it is you have to take care of yourself and let the chips fall where they may. You know how far down my difficult child was. She could have been dead at any time.We could have lost her forever into the world of prostitution, stripping, drug underworld, you name it. But it was easier because she was not living in our house. I knew that if and when she ever called to come home our answer would be no, that she needed treatment. And that's exacty what happened.</p><p></p><p>Since your ex is an alcoholic you aren't going to get his help because he looks at her and thinks she's not so bad, otherwise he has to admit he has a problem. Hard as it is going to be you need to back away and stop helping her, stop talking to her, stop enabling in any way and let the chips fall where they may. I am not convinced she isn't into drugs. Pot is a drug. As far as we know difficult child was only drinking and smoking pot, and her behavior was completely off the wall. Pot affects your thinking just like any other drug. She needs treatment but she isn't going to get it while dad is sticking his head in the sand.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 447504, member: 59"] Dash, for all the reasons you listed I became the queen of slueth's, or as one of difficult child's so called friends called me "troll". I went so far as to logging into her plenty of fish account and readinf messages guys (and gals) would send her and delete them before she saw them. I intercepted IM's and pretended I was her, I deleted freinds from her facebook account and blocked numbers from her cell phone. I was desperate. I thought for each person I blocked I was saving her from herself but all I was doing was driving myself crazy. And yet I couldn't stop because I didn't want to be caught unaware. To be surprised was worse than knowing ahead of time. Looking back on it now I realize how crazy this made me and it didn't get her into treatment any sooner. Your difficult child is engaging in dangerous and addictive behavior, but you know that. She needs treatment. I know you also know that her dad is not helping and in fact enabling her behavior. Until she hits bottom there is nothing you can do. Hard as it is you have to take care of yourself and let the chips fall where they may. You know how far down my difficult child was. She could have been dead at any time.We could have lost her forever into the world of prostitution, stripping, drug underworld, you name it. But it was easier because she was not living in our house. I knew that if and when she ever called to come home our answer would be no, that she needed treatment. And that's exacty what happened. Since your ex is an alcoholic you aren't going to get his help because he looks at her and thinks she's not so bad, otherwise he has to admit he has a problem. Hard as it is going to be you need to back away and stop helping her, stop talking to her, stop enabling in any way and let the chips fall where they may. I am not convinced she isn't into drugs. Pot is a drug. As far as we know difficult child was only drinking and smoking pot, and her behavior was completely off the wall. Pot affects your thinking just like any other drug. She needs treatment but she isn't going to get it while dad is sticking his head in the sand. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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The double and sometimes triple lives of my difficult child
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