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The double edged sword of learning to detach...
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<blockquote data-quote="ThreeShadows" data-source="post: 338496" data-attributes="member: 6370"><p>Oy! Now I'm really getting scared! I don't know how to do any of these niceties. We have been to perhaps 6 weddings in our lives. My mother in law bought me a $40.00 debutante dress that was on clearance, that's what I wore for the justice of the peace. A few years later I lent it to someone who wanted to wear it for a Halloween party. I never saw that dress again. My mother did all the cooking, we ate our wedding meal at her apartment; no real fuss or pomp, no rehearsal dinner. I suspect that mother in law wanted her son married pronto because it would look better when he applied to medication school<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" />. husband and I have never danced. I feel like I'm going to have to learn about these rules and traditions. Maybe I should look at it as an anthropological study...</p><p></p><p>The trouble with the whole dress bonding experience, etc..is that fiancée's mother is addicted to painkillers, will not bathe nor leave her room. They all live with her g'parents who are flat broke and out of work. I was getting sort of freaked when difficult child and his girlfriend were here for Thanksgiving. They told me it was wonderful to be able to walk barefoot in this house because they were always in danger of stepping in dog poop or urine. UGH.</p><p></p><p>Another thing, I know that they want to request that their guests give them money, not gifts. This seems really crass to me. Am I wrong?</p><p></p><p>I have no intention of going into debt for them. The money he inherited was meant to be mine, I was the only child and was sole inheritor in the original will, but a stranger got my mother to change her will in her favor the day before she died. Leaving a percentage to the g'kids was meant to make her look less predatory. This kid has bought a fast car, a motorcycle, plenty of toys and brand name stuff. We will look bad to lots of people because husband was a physician and they will deem us to be cheap. I am so tired of everyone's expectations of us. I don't care, let them judge us!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ThreeShadows, post: 338496, member: 6370"] Oy! Now I'm really getting scared! I don't know how to do any of these niceties. We have been to perhaps 6 weddings in our lives. My mother in law bought me a $40.00 debutante dress that was on clearance, that's what I wore for the justice of the peace. A few years later I lent it to someone who wanted to wear it for a Halloween party. I never saw that dress again. My mother did all the cooking, we ate our wedding meal at her apartment; no real fuss or pomp, no rehearsal dinner. I suspect that mother in law wanted her son married pronto because it would look better when he applied to medication school:frowny:. husband and I have never danced. I feel like I'm going to have to learn about these rules and traditions. Maybe I should look at it as an anthropological study... The trouble with the whole dress bonding experience, etc..is that fiancée's mother is addicted to painkillers, will not bathe nor leave her room. They all live with her g'parents who are flat broke and out of work. I was getting sort of freaked when difficult child and his girlfriend were here for Thanksgiving. They told me it was wonderful to be able to walk barefoot in this house because they were always in danger of stepping in dog poop or urine. UGH. Another thing, I know that they want to request that their guests give them money, not gifts. This seems really crass to me. Am I wrong? I have no intention of going into debt for them. The money he inherited was meant to be mine, I was the only child and was sole inheritor in the original will, but a stranger got my mother to change her will in her favor the day before she died. Leaving a percentage to the g'kids was meant to make her look less predatory. This kid has bought a fast car, a motorcycle, plenty of toys and brand name stuff. We will look bad to lots of people because husband was a physician and they will deem us to be cheap. I am so tired of everyone's expectations of us. I don't care, let them judge us! [/QUOTE]
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